poppy's juicefeast

Wild Garlic and Walks

2008-05-07T04:04:00.000-07:00

I found wild garlic yesterday, huge amounts of it. Its all going into jars of pesto and being sold at Dragonfly Wholefoods in Highgate. The flowers are amazing and it is true that wild food make me feel so incredible. I am in love with the connection from strolling in nature's paradise to nourishing the body and soul and I am yearning to learn so much more about picking my own wild foods.

Hopped on to Rob's website this morning, a miletstone of accessible information on wild foods and would you believe he is offering nature walks over the next two weekends where he will be pointing out all of natures' edibles? Yes! I shall be attending one this Saturday, and would love you to come along also, imagine what fun we could have! For more information, visit Rob's site.

Also since its the season of vitality and blossom, I would love to share my recipe for raw elderflower cordial...

4l warm water
40 heads of elderflower - you can use less
4 lemons squeezed the thrown in the bowl
a whole jar of wild raw honey!!

Put it all in a bowl and allow it to infuse for as long as possible.

If you are feeling extra creative, you can use this sryup to make the most amazing raw pear/apple crumbles. Oh yes, photos still to come. Hold tight!

Is It All Over My Face, You've Got Me Love Dancing

2008-05-05T18:09:00.000-07:00

2am and I am supposed to be up in five hours to chef at the raw food cafe in Highgate and there seems to be no chance of my sleeping in the near minutes to follow - I am high once again on cacao and mesquite, my drug of choice, yet not by choice - I had to sample the raw mint chocolate brownies and love-heart chocolates that I have made for tomorrow. Thanks to cacao, my creative juices are flowing, (also made a raw elderflower cordial for my raw pear and elderflower crumble, and a luscious vanilla cream to go with it, mmmmmm!) I will try to get photos of these posted soon.

Cacao gets me dancing, had a disco session tonight to Larry Levan's "Its all over my face" classic, and in the midst of ecstatic dancing I only just figured the enititled 'all over my face' riff, is a reference to the white powder that fuelled the disco era. Aha! Let cacao be the new drug of love dancing!

Punta Mona finally got back to me to let me know that I am welcome to come and stay in their beautiful sustainable community - am off to Costa Rica very soon, hurray!!

Had a fine weekend shared with Holi, even more stunning in real life. I am bowled by the wonderful ribbon that she laces through life, and feel totally inspired to travel now. I am learning to let go of doubts, fears and just run with life, and dancing to music is my yoga right now. Holi and I shared a little adventure in Heathrow airport this weekend that totally confirmed my current movement, all about dipping toes in, taking leaps foward, then sometimes a pause, trying, sometimes finding the groove, sometimes just searching for it. There are no mistakeS, and I think less and less that there is a right and wrong in life, just a constant search for alignment. I feel like a kid right now, banging on the keys of a new-bought piano, thrashing chords, some that clash and some that rhyme but all necessary in the quest for a melody that allows me to sink into the deep spirtual and emotional power of life and love.

Realising Dreams

2008-05-01T15:22:00.000-07:00

Its been a darn long time. Been sucked into the money generating machine in Londonia, making funds to fund the enxt step in my beautiful journey. I am a little trapped in the London whirlwind right now; working in power crazed structures, feeling like a caged rat in a system I don't believe in. Exciting ventures all over the world of people who want to shout love, dance and life into the ears of their children. I wish I could shut out the words that are I am hearing in the background on the family telivision covering the mayoral elections; appalling, fundamentally wrong, shameful, deprivation, anxiety, problem are big words for little people to use so freely. I want to tune into love, dance and rejoice the beautiful gift of love that was given to each and every one of us. Why do we think that life was given to endure, a test..I don't know. It seems so surreal, I don't seem to want to make the city work for me, I would rather wake up to sunshine, flora and fauna. The energy comes out of the sun, the food comes out of the ground, and human contact is all around, don't need to go to social clubs to find love. Costa Rica here I come. Hardships letting go right now, moving out of my comfort zone, a few hardships to endure but so worth it in the long term. I have known this dream for a long time, now I am finally realising it.

2008-04-13T17:44:00.000-07:00

Every day right now is so much fun. I feel like one lucky girl. Yesterday I started a new job, love it! Then attended a wonderful raw potluck with some beautiful people, nabbed the last half hour only though. Then joy, oh joy went dancing. Amazing sound, in my little corner next to the huge speaker going to some beautiful ecstatic place in my heart, and really getting down to the music that I love! Then bumped into a dear friend and we went off on a 3 hour walk around Clapton in true Situationist style, talking, talking and talking, kindred souls connecting, different paths, same vision. Both of us are tapping into the freedom of joyful living and embracing new experiences, and finally accepting the potential within ourselves, reaching out and tapping into the wonderful sap of life, but in very different ways. Another reminder that the choices in life are infinite and varied, as extensive as the imagination. And the choices we make allow us to connect with what is already within us, compassion, love, creativity. I think these are tools that allow us to create our world - love creates love, passing . So that my focus, to continue evolving and on this path, continue making my dreams real and inpsiring others along the way, if i can!

Inspirational fact, I have never been able to do all-nighters. Used to work in a nightlub, and by 2am, I was the grumpiest, most dispondant barmaid in the world. The past two nights I have been dancing, laughing and chatting all night long without so much as a stifled yawn. Even the night bus home has been lovely. I am finally getting the whole energy thing of raw food and I feel amazing and joyful and happy that my body seems to be ticking away so well. Energy has always be an issue for me, but now I seem to be sleeping much less and going like the Duracell Bunny, feels good.

Wild, Crazy Poppy-ness

2008-04-11T14:43:00.000-07:00

Crazy energy right now its mental. Soaring high on life. I feel ready to explode with the surplus of electricity pouring through my body, unless I find a practical outlet for it -that is! I sometimes crave heavy, stodgy cooked food, an antidote to this hyperactivity, it feels almost too much - like I am on amphetamines. I am literally buzzing to a different beat to those around me, constant silliness, cracks and frenetic movement. Feeling like the kid, for whom the world turns round her centre. Such a contrast to JFing. Am so far for introspection, and more living in NOW, relishing the ecstatic joy of the present, no room for responsibility, no room for boredom and bullshit, purlease! I feel like the loudmouth missy that was always in trouble at school - BE-lieve, no teachers to tell me off now.

Going out to dance all night! Me, myself, that little corner of Plastic People on a Friday night, and meditate on the reverberations of heavy bass. Laaaaa! Oh sweet joy, if this is where its at, its all mighty good.

Staple foods: Marinated Kale, Pea Shoots, Garlic Shoots, Alfalfa, Spinach, Sauerkraut, Cucumbers, Avocado, Lemons, Hemp Oil, Hemp Seeds, Dried Figs, Cacao and Wild Honey. Green Juice, Nettle Tea, Lemonade and Mango Smoothies. Mmmmmmm!

Tune of the moment: If This Ain't Love, Nicole Willis & the Soul Investigators

Giving Tuppence

2008-04-10T01:46:00.001-07:00

Early morning discussions with the twin about care, love consideration. Used to be work as a pastry chef, I love perfection and care put into the small details of things. I think that little love that goes into the preparation of a 'tartelette aux fraises' makes all the difference. I notice less of the love going into the food I buy, the clothes I buy and the restaurants I go to.

Sometimes when I waitress, and I see the chef screaming at his sous-chef and I ask myself how on earth can you serve that food to another person, the food that you have prepared and poisoned with anger. And sometimes I just look at the food on the plate, and I ask myself how can you serve such uncared for, sloppy food and charge so much - I see it everywhere and feel a sadness at the loss of care and integrity in industry. I hesitate to 'blame' commerce, because I can not believe that such negates honesty, love and integrity. In fact, I believe that when I go to a restaurant, I am paying for that somebody to prepare with equal care the dish as they would for their loved ones or family - and yet I can say that the past six years that I have worked in restaurants I have seen only one place prepare food with such care and love for what goes out on the plate in the wonderful Rose Bakery. I know that when I go to the farmer's market, Perry Court Farm give me the same amazing pears, carrots, beets and spinach that feed their own children and I feel gratified for the care with which they pick the best ones out for me. It transforms my whole relationship to the food, and makes me happy to part with my money for that. My salary is afterall, a product of my time, of my efforts and of my giving to others with equal care of their needs and desires as humans and as paying customers, that as such I can't stand to provide any less than the best. I quit working for Wholefoods after one week, understanding that money ruled over integrity for them - their daily food wastage could have filled a hundred homeless bellies alone, I just can't represent that - it feels so wrong!

Traditionally clothing and cooking were acts of community sharing and love. The effort that was placed into preparing a meal, weaving a dress that was made to last, or a scarf for a loved one was prepared in the context of caring, creative giving. If each act was fulfilled with full awareness of its journey - from my heart to yours, I think we would feel a lot closer as humans. Many talk about our loss of connection with nature, provoking a looser connection to the fundamental axis of our existence. Perhaps it comes more down to time; running around like headless chicken we lose sense of the value of this very moment here and now, always projecting our minds to the future, turning our actions into drawn out lists of things to do, just so the end can justify the means, we can pay the bills. Passion is key, living every minute and living each other with love.

My brother blames Tescos this morning, another blames McDonalds and another blames the 'system' conspiring against us. It seems so futile to talk of systems, of organisations. We're all human, and I am in to dealing on human levels now, building communities and putting my energy into making grow the things I love. More to come soon...Love!!!

Losing Contact

2008-04-10T00:45:00.000-07:00

After last week's depressing post, I wanted to touch base to let y'all know I am still alive and kicking. JFing has been broken temporarily, pending prosperity and a little more ease in my financial shituation. Spring is here and with it kilos of fresh luscious greens for the cheap; divine. Can't stop humming in the beautiful sunshine, giving and receiving beautiful smiles all around.

Starting to feel in two-minds about this blog. Firstly the name, juicefeast restricts it to certain niche in time from which it has evolved and I think it needs to evolve now too. Secondly, its content, in all it graphic honesty is aimed at a small circle of readers, friends shall we say, whom I felt very at ease with discussing the intimate details of my 'raw' experiences becuase I know that they're on the same journey, leaving me beautiful comments and sharing their own precious paths. I have since discovered that it is quite accessible to others, my stats have rocketed with the imminent opening of a certain restaurant, and I have noticed people from that particular domain checking the content with the incessancy of the intigued, enthralled or the paranoid - leave a comment, if you will Joe. I have also noticed people coming onto my blog typing in my full name or the name of people in my family, and I feel quite exposed! I am not sure I feel so at ease with the information I put out there and I feel a sudden impulse to control or pull back in the the rope that I have naively thrown out there - not quite grasping that anything I throw into cyber space becomes totally public and indelible to anyone who wants to read it! And here's my typing away at all the intimate detail of my existence, hmmm! Hence my quietness these past few days, pondering 'me', divinely indulgent introspection and taking some time in Paris with my sweet. How restorative love is, one doesn't realise its missing, and then boom, you realise wowwwww, this is love, yeah, we're talking Jill-Bolte Taylor, right-brained euphoria!

Day Three!!!

2008-04-02T11:03:00.000-07:00

I had heard it said somewhere tha bad luck always comes in threes. Well thrice it has, definitely a funny day for me. I wonder if these personal challenges are trying to tell me something, or maybe my itcing desire to run away is using/consciously creating these mishaps to take me to where I want to go, clue; miles away from home! I don't get London, still. I don't get why I work like a dog just to live (cue; shelter, food and water) giving me two precious days each week to actually live my life the way I want to live it. And no one is keeping me here, but myself oh, and the ever-expanding hole in my pocket. I walked down Oxford Street today and it all seems ever so surreal. I felt the wages in my pocket and tried to intice myself into some material pleasure, but I wasn't having any of it. It all leaves me rather cold, ever-more so on the juice feast, where the enthralling idea of stopping of somewhere to eat or shop for supper goes out the window too. The highlight of my day is my enema, my run in the woods, and me-time at home on my own. So am I wasting precious time waitressing doing rubbish jobs for the lowest pay to fund this life? The clock is ticking and I know I am not "100% behind" the life that I am leading right now. What to do? Hoping to find some inspiration from within, but alas lack of money creates an impending danger for the longevity of this Juice Feast.

Seeking simplicity too...(thanks H)

Today

ll Lemon and MSM and Psyllium Water
2l Green Juice: Cucumber, Parsley, Spring Greens, Lettuce, Apple
0.5l Carrot Juice
1l Orange Juice
Enema and Skin Brush

Saf and My Blog

2008-04-01T12:10:00.001-07:00

A case of the tail between the legs tonight. Just got sacked from Saf, and I feel a bit miserable! Apparently my blog is better referenced than I thought, and the few throwaway comments that I wrote about Saf, were found out by the management, typing "Saf Restaurant, London" into a search engine and I found a message on my blog this mornning from a guy called Joe saying

lets put it nice AND EASY. HMMM.. HOW I CAN PUT THIS.....
your fired

(Though no one actually took responsibility for the message, the manager said it was a friend of his who typed it in from the office computer whilst playing around last night...hmmm!)

It transpired that along with the comment and the fact that I didn't want to eat the 'cooked' vegan food in food tasting (what did they expect - they knew I was 100% raw!), my manager didn't think I was "100% behind Saf", and he didn't want to keep me for that reason. Fair enough...I think I would have fired me had I found out about the commments, namely the management not taking raw food seriously and offering us coffee and sandwiches after a four hour talk on the virtues of eating raw. Its another case of my having to watch what I say, a lifelong problem for miss loudmouth here. I think another issue might have been not going out and getting trashed with everybody last night for 'team building'. Now why has team building in the restaurant industry always been about getting so inebriated that you are no longer even hearing the person next to you speak? Seriously contemplating getting out of London again, I wonder where I can connect with people in the mainstream of a working environment without resorting to the pub.

Anyway what I love, is how well referenced my blog is that typing in Saf brings you up on my page. Thats why I am saying Saf a lot tonight, because with its imminent opening ,there are going to be lots of people typing Saf into search engines, and hopefully directed towards my blog. All the better - if you want a real raw food experience read this ;). Now, I could go wild now and say what I want about Saf, but really I wish them the best, I hope Saf does really well and continues to spread raw food into the mainstream.

Raw Foodists, if you want gastronomy in London check out Inspiral Lounge if you haven't already , this is raw food to go mad about, get high on and feel love prepared with love by Joel!

Juice Feasting is going wonderfully, stripping the layers already. I feel strangely vulnerable, but I am loving that 'open heart' feeling again. Feeling emotions literally flow through me like gale-force winds. Loving, loving, loving green juice again, and expelling a lot of mucus from the chest. Planning a trip to Paris this week and I am worried about the big responsibility of juicing whilst travelling. Long thing...But hey. Best moment of the day, sitting on the tube sipping heavenly green juice and listening to Aretha Franklin sing "Dr Feelgood" - oh yeah!

Today I had

1l Water, Lemon and MSM
3l GVJ - Celery, Spinach, Parsley, Cucumber, Lettuce and Carrot - feels soooo good!
1l Carrot, Apple and Ginger - Tasted like sherbet!
Enema and Skin Brush

Day One (or was it?)

2008-04-01T02:08:00.000-07:00

Nettles for Holi!

Ahhh, I forgot what is was to be juice feasting. My mind created a romantic reverie of what it though it was and then suddenly I remembered what it really was to be out there stranded in the city with only two litres fo juice, a painful tooth, stress and the desire to eat a humungous salad. Today, I am going to be well organised with regards to al that, JFing is way too important to squander for lack of organisation! And I caved in, running to the supermarket to grab pineapples, grapefruits and any sweets that would satisfy my hunger cravings, a few grapes entered the mouth!!! Then the mind went into freak mode, I don't want to be feasting, remembering all the negative bits about the last feast. Still that was Day One, and today is new days, and fresh resolutions. I felt so great when I tapped into the blogosphere and suddenly I was alive to the reasons why I am doing this again. So here's to amazing days.

Check out the amazing adventures of Holi, my wild nettle foraging, hippie JF partner in the Lake District. I am ecstatic about us sharing this adventure together, it will be interesting to mutually support and inspire. Amazing to have found another beautiful soul in the blogosphere, blessings!!

Yesterday I had
1l Water, Lemon, Cayenne and MSM
2l GVJ: Parsley, Celery, Spinach, Romaine, Carrot
0.5l Pineapple Juice
Sucked the sweet nectar of three ruby red grapefruits!
3 red grapes down the hatch :O
2l nettle tea

Skin Brushing, Contrast Showers and Enema

Supplements: Psyllium, MSM

Serious detox yesterday!! Woah...

I Can't Get No Sleep!

2008-03-30T17:36:00.000-07:00

Its 01.36 of the first day on my second juice feast! I am so excited and cacaoed out of my brains, I can't sleep at all!! Damn. Whats a girl to do? Will be good to have a little break from cacao - that stuff is strong, I think I am a bit dependent. It just brightened my world post JF but in reflection I have been consistently on a cacao high for too long (cacao sends me to cuckoo land) and its good to come back to earth. What better way that pure green earth juices, looking forward to vibrating with the plants. Holi's been collecting nettles, I love nettles! They serious speak to me on a whole different level than other plants, but I won't go there, you'll think I am crazy.

I am fricking nodding like a drugee, cacao is bad! Need to calm down, Saf is giving us a written test tomorrow and I have to be on form. Could I name three advantages of the raw food diet? Shit, I have got to do some studying on that one.

1. LOVE

2. L-O-V-E

3. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!!!

Me and My Suitcase Full of...

2008-03-30T10:48:00.000-07:00

Tonight is the night before...another Juice Feast. Am so excited. Woke up this morning...f*@cked! Yesterday's 'raw' food tasting, really did me in. Ridiculous how sensitive I am, not long ago I would have walked away from that mammoth lunch glowing with energy with a skip in my stride. Today I awoke late, tired, puffy-eyed, pale and feeling out of synch with the spin of the universe. Well hurray, tomorrow is the beginning of another cleanse, and if the last one is anything to go by - I can not wait!!!

Went to the market and bought: carrots, spinach, parsely, apples, pears, romaine, lamb's lettuce, celery and yummy cukes. Trampled it all back in a suitcase on two buses to arrive home. Realised I was locked out - I am not expanding gracefully with the Universe today, spent an hour banging on the door before my brother woke up to let me in. But now I am fixed up and ready to run tomorrow. All that was left was to empty the contents of my fridge so..yummy romaine lettuce, with luscious avocadoes and a hemp-seed/lime/garlic/smoked paprika creamy dressing with some sundried tomatoes!!! Yum! Then I was like "oh no!".I realised that there was still a stack of cacao nibs left in the cupboard and I had less than 12 hours to work out what to do with it. I put my thinking cap on and off the top of my head managed to make a fig, hemp seed, cacao and honey pudding with lots of vanilla and a dash of cayenne. OMG, I was singing to the pudding. It went "We'll meet again, don't know how, don't know when, but I know we'll meet again some sunny day." You know that Vera Lynn classic! My cacao pudding is so good, its better than anything I have tasted at Saf so far. I will be selling it under the counter, just ask for Poppy's moonshine pudding. I shall be taking some to a potluck next Saturday - thanks for the info Paz!

So I am so psyched for tomorrow. Its good to have the foresight this time around. Last time was very spontaneous and I didn't have a chance to have my last supper and spent the week lamenting not having one last salad so it feels good to have treated myself this time round. Can't wait to get back into enemas, skin brushing and gallons of the green stuff! Oh yeah. Food is fun but juices are so much more. I have missed it pretty much from the day I broke the last Juice Feast. I am gonna drink lots of hemp oil this time round to ensure I don't have any of the imbalance I suffered last time.

Peace!!

Yuk, I feel Yuk!!!

2008-03-29T16:29:00.000-07:00

Funny, I always lamented not having a 'pro-pah' raw food restaurant in London when i transitioned to raw - I felt as if my raw experience wad not so exciting as I had never realy tasted the virtues of the beautiful creations that I was adept to seeing on raw 'porn' sites. Today was my first experience of having the real introduction to the amazing restaurant creations of Chad Sarno. The food at Saf is going to be incredible!! I mean it tastes amazing and Chad really is the man to create a wonderful restaurant experience from amazing mostly raw ingerdients.

Personally though I would rather have a big bowl of salad 'a la Poppy' any day of the week. After tasting everything on the menu, I had this unbalanced feeling, a bit like when I ate cooked where I felt unsatisfied. My belly was full but my soul felt empty. I realise that the creations I had just eaten lacked the essentials for me, fresh leafy greens, dense avocadoes, salty seaweeds, water dense cukes, sensual olives. I am so happy with the food that I prepare for myself on a daily basis I wouldn't swap it for anything. I think the gourmet raw food must feel healthy for somebody on a cooked diet, and must present a wonderful dining experience for the raw foody wanting to dine out, but nonetheless it does nothing for my body. Seriously I was craving greens after that meal, I felt so awful. I would never have anticipated that I could arrive at this level of nutritional simlpicity a year ago, and frankly I had I know I would have thought twice about becoming raw but now its ridiculous how sensitive my body is to food. Even nuts now do me no good whatsoever. It seems like a ridiculous sacrifice to make to reduce my food choices so significantly, but I enjoy eating like never before without the emotional attachment to food, and I feel so great on fresh plant food - I am literally soaring with energy. I feel like am flying on a completely different level of energy, sometimes I even feel like I am going too fast and need to calm down - more green juices! I love the experience of life on this plane of energy, it feels exactly how is was meant to be. Juice Feast begins again Monday, buying produce tomorrow - I can not wait. The experience of life just keeps on exploding, love, love, love!

Paris for a couple of days, I hope this week - reconnecting with my darling love whom I miss. Dreamt of a 'Jack and the Beanstalk' type Garlic tree last night and I had to climb to the top to get the last two amazing bulbs. Strange! Reminds me, when does wild garlic come around, must be soon..Yum! Woken up this morning mby David, loving words. Made my day. A think each day is defined about how it begins, positive morning thoughts can make a whole day beautiful!

Jumping on that Wagon Again

2008-03-28T13:07:00.000-07:00

Saf training is a whole lotta fun, still! The menu and juice list looks heavenly and I forgot to mention that there will also be a shop selling al the raw lifestyle essentials like rebounders, superfoods, nature's first greens and the like. Also there will be a take away menu a simple bar/snack menu, its also got wifi and the company seems to be very conscientious and caring in an ethically minded kinda way. Got miffed that I had to go and buy my lunch today, cos as a raw girl, my dietary needs were looked over - ironic huh! But the staff seem increasingly interested in the raw foods thing, and am being bomabarded with questions and have promised to introduce all the girls to the gift of raw chocolate tomorrow!

More excitingly, am back on the juice wagon come Monday, hurray! I am so, so excited about this. I miss it so much, food doesn't integrate in the same way that juice does - I miss those love vibes too. I will be sharing the fun with Holi, as we will start officially on the same day although she might zip off to Thailand soon, we will still be sharing it together. I wish I could run away somehere warm too, harumph! Soon come, I hope!

Talking to Dusty tonight, in his organic shop got my brain thinking over a lot of stuff. I find it very uplifting to talk to other conscientious people, it makes the process so worthwhile because you know that you are part of a mass consciousness. Its clear now, that so many people want to make positive change. We may all have different ideas on how to achieve this, but most importantly I see people looking into themelves, gaining awareness of their own potential and becoming nicer people. I thought, what an impact we could make on the world if we each shared a caring smile with a few extra people each day, if we said something nice to each other. Perhaps we are too focused on making the global shift that we forget the impact of small changes that we can impact here and now! I left smiling, walked through the woods and felt wonderfully blessed by the splendor of nature in Spring! I am happy, I notice how significantly happier I feel today than I did a year ago. I think it is possible to embrace life with fresh, youthful eyes each day and discover new things each day. Life seems exciting right now, so much potential. I am happy in myself. Perhaps I need to get better at being more extorvert and sharing with others, but I feel comfortable in myself and it has taken me years to achieve this. I don't know if it is raw food that has made me feel this way, but it certainly started at the same time that I embraced this lifetyle. Weird how food can have such an impact.

People focus a lot of the aesthetic side of raw food, its like we've been brain-washed to believe that diets can turn you into the supermodels whose beauty we perceive to epitomise perfect health. I often felt insecure about telling people I was raw, because I felt that I wasn't your typical 'Shazzie' or 'Karen Knowler' type. True, my skin glows and so do my eyes, but most importantly I smile from within. Thats what I have gained from raw food, an inner smile and confidence in myself and my potential. So much more important that anything else, me thinks.

Kimchee and Cacao

2008-03-27T11:33:00.000-07:00

My face has deflated, at last! Hurray and I am feeling much more positive. Funny how feeling physically unwell can totally offset your whole psyhological well-being. The two are so linked, it just takes something like that to make me appreciate how far I have come on raw foods. I am thinking about going back to JFing again, I miss the euphoria and simplicity. Food is so complicated sometimes! New friend Holi is jumping on the JFing bandwagon very soon, may join her. I really did love that experience so much and now it feels like I am firmly back to earth. Discovering that cacao isn't so good for me on a regular basis, I only benefit from it if taken recreationally, as it were. Also realising, keeping hydrated is just about the most important thing, whenever I go a day without my green juice, I really feel the effects!

Sauerkraut is where its at for me right now, can't get enough of my homemade kimchee. Craving the stuff!! Noticed that I have gained a fair bit of weight since breaking my feast, despite eating mainly romaine lettuce! How is that possible? Still loving me, loving my curves and and loving me - I feel great!

Love

Bashfulness and the Elephant Lady

2008-03-26T10:54:00.000-07:00

Its been a crazy, eventful, celebration filled week crammed with highs and birthday bashfulness. I am officially hooked on raw chocolate - its the only sweet thing that grabs my attention and I am loving eating again - though I do miss the juice feast. Last night's raw cacao talk at Inspiral Lounge was just inspiring and filled with lovely peeps. Lovely to meet you Suki and Crissy, ;), Joel - your words were deep!

Partaying over the weekend and dancing to the legendary Ali Shaheed Muhammed on Sunday night was perhaps one of the finest groovement experience I have ever had. Beautiful bodies and smiling faces all going collectively wild to the DJ music filled my soul with love, couldn't stop laughing all night long, greeting old friends with ear-to-ear smiles and hugs.

Raw food and cleansing has made me one sensitive little girl! A nasty allergic reaction to carob has made the right side of face swell up, with an inflamed eye also - I look like I have been beaten up! Trying Raw Intent's Carob Chips, gave my body the opportunity to reveal to me how sensitive I am - I discovered today that they ain't raw and that they contain soya, so I will be more careful to thoroughy check packaged products in future. However, I did manage to venture out to the Inspiral Lounge despite my current malformation, and it was well worth it! I start training at SAF tomorrow, and I am too embarassed to leave the house right now - I hope tonight brings speedy recovery. My brothers have nicknamed me 'Elephant Lady' - touché as always! Feeing unwell has had such an effect on my well-being, it has brought me right down to earth and I long to float back up to my former sexy love-being.
The whole experience of JFing was about all about introspection, and now I am sudden emerging from my cave shielding my eyes and having to engage with the world in itself. I am naturally disposed to shyness and introspection, I always have been. Thus, I form my own illusions of the world and reality often proves that the world is amalgamation of many different people's thoughts, energies and attitudes. By the same token, my perception of how things should be, does not necessarily accord with other people's desires and I have to find ways to accept people for who they are, not what I dream them up to be. The beauty of life is surfing on the waves, responding to each one as it comes with joyous creativity not trying to pierce through each one. Being positive provides me the tools with which to deal lovingly with others. But for me, more creativity is needed with the way I enage with people in the 'real world', and definitely an emphasis on play because I discover more and more that life is just a joyous game not to be taken seriously. People's negativity can be engaged with socially in a fun and understanding manner because we are all ony human afterall. My family have recently taken to calling me loony and regretting the loss of 'old Poppy', I joke back with them about this and I have noticed that it makes us much closer. Their opinion of me is not the sum of who I am, just their perception, all the more more fun! It would be boring if everyone was nice, and I was wonderful in the eyes of all I know, the fun is riding and playing in this humorous riddle of life.

I am less into words and introspection right now. I find great pleasure in using my body as a vehile of action. It disperses all my neurosis, fears and general chit-chat of the brain. I speak a lot usually but I find that my actions ought to speak much, much louder. I have also been let down recently by placing my hopes into what turns out to be empty promises. So now I just believe that we should act before we speak and use words as the summary of our findings. Maybe I will be blogging less for now, I am in a doing kind of phase.

I am staying in London for now, as some of you may have realised. I am still in love with my Parisian man, but I am not prepared to make the move back yet. Everyday, is a chance to rebuild our love, and that takes some work after the heartache of a separation, and the bad memories. But as I always maintain, with love and cooperation between two people, anything is possible. Sometimes, that isn't there for whatever reaons in which case you can't impose your beliefs on another, I have to learn to play more in the game with others and respond to their moves with openness. (I am a head-strong Arien dontcha know!) But I know that David loves me and I know that we want to be together. Soon come...

Spring Equinox and Giving

2008-03-17T12:56:00.001-07:00

Friday is the Spring Equinox, and the the day that celebrates my 23 years around the sun, and Good Friday. I have been asking my mum about my birth today. I discovered that she was is labour with me and my brother for 24 hours. She lost consciousness right at the end, that was while my twin Seb was coming out, not me! She had to have a blood transfusion because she had lost so much blood, but she bravely refused to have a caesarian and would not take any pain killers, what a soldier! My brother and I were premature and jaundiced and had to spend the next month in hospital before my mother could take us home. She came every day to the hospital, to breast feed us through the day! I cried, apparently from the day that I emerged into the world and did not stop until I was into my sixth year. My mother remarked that I was shell shocked from our traumatic birth throughout my former years- I think she exaggerates a little. Funny talking about this event as 'our' birth- it renews the affection I have for Sebastian, my brother when I realise that we came out the womb together, and of course I am reminded an obvious point but somewhat elusive point, it was a moment that we also shred with our mother - I mean she pushed us out! Friday is therefore a celebration of the day of our physical union and I am so excited when I think of this joyous day in these renewed terms.

Talking to my mother for the first time about her experience of birth and bringing us up this morning revealed an excitement of perhaps enacting the same gift of love some day. I have no plans to have kids just yet, I must stress! I just feel comfortable with the idea, which is nice. Bringing a piece of love into the world and nurturing that through life. Reading John Coltrane's poem on the inside of the Love Supreme sleeve today I was touched by his message that The Creator creasted us with love and he says let us try to live up to that love. Isn't that beautiful? It emphasises the path of striving to be good to constantly trying to live up to His love; - a journey as it were more than a closed book. The constant effort of trying to be good through our wordly actions is an act of creation, giving thanks for our creation. Love fuels love. So our journey in life is filled with the pregnant potential to fullfill, to give to those around us and create greater joy to other on the planet, surpassing the difficulties by passing the beacon to others.

John Coltrane's Love Supreme is an act of love. I remember the first time I heard it, it was my first vinyl, given to me by my brother for my 11th Birthday. The felt tip words on the inside read "Dear Abby, With Deep Love, Your Darling Quinn." It wove a beautiful story into that weighty record, evoking a romantic reverie that excited my young imagination. I remember hearing it for the first time and thinking it was so weird, but resisting my first impressions, I closed my eyes and it was the first piece of music that transported me to a totally different place. It freed me, making me a little fearful, journeying deeper into the sound was almost like a sexual transition - it was so strange a liberating. I felt the powerful potential of music. I fell in love with jazz and soul music; Doug and Jean Carn, Coldcut, Grooverider, Moodyman, Pharoah Sanders, Rotary Connection... I remember going to jam session and getting really high on the music, the ambiance and the freedom of expressing one's feelings through sound. It was incredible. I inhaled the novels of James Baldwin, set in Harlem. I fell in love with Sonny's Blues and the concept that jazz was such a powerful form of expression, of dealing with raw emotion that that some musicians had no choice but to turn to drugs to supress the emerging fears that emerged from going so deep in their inner journey. As a teenager music was so charged with emotion for me that I sympathised wholly with this concept. Yet I lost the importance of music a little later but it starts to comes back to me again now. I begin to feel raw emotion coming through me now as I listen to music, I begin to feel a precious sensitivity unveiling itself and connecting me with the fire and passion I felt as a child. I love this interconnectedness; my mother, my childhood, my first record, my brother Jez's act of giving, John Coltrane's Love Supreme, his love of the Creator, his music as an act of spiritual love to the audience, Quinn and Abby, a romantic love, my first love affair of music, a love continuum . Everything feels very connected in this sense, just being conscious of the whole pattern. I think more a more about this in view of the video link that I posted yesterday. The point about Jill Bolte Taylor experiencing all beings as energy beings, all connected through the powerful separation of the right and left side of her brain just blew my brain away! I mean thats it for me, if we are energy beings, all connected then we just need to open ourselves up connecting more with each other through love. Thats the way we communicate and understand each other. We were created by love, and we must create with love, with acts of giving and kindness, dissolving the ego.

A quote by Eckart Tolle:

As you go more deeply into this state of no-mind, as it is sometimes called in the East, you realise the state of pure consciousness. In that state you feel your own presence with such intensity and such joy that all thinking, all emotions, your physical body, as we as the whole external world become relatively insignificant in comparison to it...It takes you beyond what you previously thought of as "yourself".

Catching Up

2008-03-16T16:12:00.000-07:00

Sorry folks for leaving this a whole six days since I have posted.

I must have loads to catch up on. Firstly, now that the Juice Feast has finished and I am pressing on to a more active phase in my life I wanted to change the format of this blog. I am going to post less frequently and I shall be moving away from the whole foodlog and musings into more documentary and open discussions on whatever is going on in my life. No longer, splitting hairs on analysis of every though but rather sailing through the motions of life, observations, and sharing what moves, touches and inspires me in the momentary tides of every day.

Food is not a huge focus for me right now, I have found a balance which suits me; JFing for two days a week, 1l green juice and lemon water every day, with a big green salad, half an avo and hemp seed dressing at about 5pm. It works for me. Thats all I can say.

I have found a volunteering job, once a week teaching kids about natural farming near me. This is an amazing opportunity for me, the people that run the program believe that natural farming is a part of their spiritual practice, connecting with nature to observe the profound workings of the Universe - precisely an aspect that I connect with also! I am ecstatic and looking forward to learning so much more.

I will also be waitressing in Chad Sarno's new Raw Food Restaurant, Saf to open in London in two weeks' time. I can not wait for this! I hope this is going to do a wonderful service for developing the Raw Community in London and I am happy to be part of it. I think Gourmet Raw Food is great for breaking the fear factor for people transitioning from a standard, unhealthy diet to intense tasting living foods. Of course, I strongly advocate that this is however a stepping stone in the path to an optimal diet of fresh water dense greens, fruits and some seeds.

On the bus this morning, driving through heavy showers, I noticed a beautiful confetti scattering of pink blossom on the windows. This instantly touched me. I was reminded of Takeshi Kitano's film, Dolls which paints a beautiful portrait of beauty and dreams in the mysterious context and struggles of life. The film is filled with beautiful shots of Japanese Gardens and cherry blossom trees. A sudden magic filled my world, funny how moments like this take you to another space in your mind.

Talking of which I wanted to share these links with you:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=UyyjU8fzEYU

http://kaleidos.org.uk/DOWNLOADS/part%20one.mp3

http://kaleidos.org.uk/DOWNLOADS/part%20two.mp3

These imply three very strong threads as far as I am concerned; firstly that the spiritual experience of joy is within us. We are all energy beings, connected to all the other energy in the world and we can access this open state by exploring the right hemisphere of the brain. Its there, within us and we have the power to access it. Secondly, the left-side of the brain has developed over time to 'malfunction', and in its impaired state control the right side of the brain leading to ego, fear and an impairment of creative potential. This prevents us from achieving our full potential, that is within us. Thirdly, the brain can be improved in returning to a more natural lifestyle, a more primitive based diet akin to what we ate formatively in the Rainforest, as that was when the brain worked optimally. This can bring us to a great spiritual union, bring greater joy and show us the way to enacting our lives in a harmonious and non-aggressive society. I hope you enjoy these links and am curious to know what you think??

I have been dabbling in cacao recently and am loving the high. I wouldn't do this too often but occasionally its a wonderful tool to bring on that 'love' feeling, increasing alertness, and making me very proactive in achieving my tasks. Today has wizzed by on cacoa, raspberry and hemp butter bliss!

Lastly, I have been tagged by the adorable Carrie to reveal five things about myself that YOU don't know! Firstly, my heritage is mixture of Tunisian, French, Russian, and Polish. Oh yet, I am an odd-bod and often told that "I aint British lookin ah'all". Number two, my surname is Smadja -(Tunisian origin), middle name: Dora (no idea!), and firstname well, Poppy (yes, as in the flower, yes it is my REAL name, yes it is marked that way on my passport and my birth certificate, and no my folks aren't hippies! Poppy Dora Smadja's nicknames: Wizadora, Poppalina, Popscicle, Popples, Pops, Popsta, Popcorn, Poppins, Smadj, Smudga, Badger (as in singing "everybody loves mashed potato"! 'THE' Bodger and Badger of kids' TV!),PoppyDora and of course, sweetheart, lovey and love ;)! Number three, raw food has had many effects on me; one was that I developed a much more meaningful understanding of sex, and I fell in love with children, see the wonderful and logical connections, here. Number four, I used to play saxonphone - alto and sorpano which hs fuelled my love of jazz, had yellow spikey hair, always a smart retort to everything and hated my twin brother - naturally I was nicknamed Lisa Simpson! Number five, my favourite places in the whole world are Marseille and Cornwall in winter - I love the drama of walking along vast rocky, and rustic beaches with the dramatic gusts of wind, crisp and punchy salt air in the nose, the intense rays of the winter sun glaring through heavy blue-grey clouds and the occasion splashes of rain as I reflect upon the immense power of the vast ocean. Blissful!!

I have tagged Keiko, Heidi, Angela, Jenna and Kelly.

Hugs... xxx

Feast-Break and Reflections

2008-03-10T11:46:00.000-07:00

Draped under two thick woolly covers as rainstorms fill the night sky, I am finding solace in today's juice feasting magic whilst I sip on a warm jar of fresh nettle, mint and raw honey and reflect back over the last week's feast breaking experience. I wanted to write a bit prosaically abour the physical transition back on to food. I hope there are some people out there that will be able to glean something useful from my personal reflections because frankly, this week has been one big tumultuous ride and quite far from the joyful celebration of re-integrating solids back into my diet that I had percipitated. The simple process of juggling so many contrasting ideas, whilst trying to listen to the newborn and deeply sensitive persona of my real nutrtional needs has been challenging and emotionally confusing. I have been contemplating all sorts of contrasting ideas; systematic underreating, rebuilding my strength with four means to get your greens, listening to my body's reduced appetite whilst trying in vain to rekindle a forgotten friendship with food, and returning to Juice Feasting for another 40 days. I have now reached a plateau where my body feels dehydrated without at least a gallon of water and juice a day and I still retain an emphatic desire to continue feeling better and better, confounded by the fact that little by litte my body feels less healthy on solids.

My first advice for fest-breakers based on my experience would be to slow down post-feast and calm the mind. There are so many predicted notions of how the feast-break is going to be, that when it does come around you may experience disappointment in its digression from your expectations. This last week has been somewhat anti-climatic for me in this respect. I believe that this is the most important part of the whole feast and needs to be administered with deep care and attention.

I have noticed two things; I am virtually Phase 1 now; I have absolutely no desire for fruits whatsoever. This can be a little destabilising because a part of my mind wants to reinitiate the comfort relationship with food that I had before. Ironically, food doesn't turn me on in the same way. When I am hungry I eat, all too soon I am satiated and then I am left feeling bewildered as to why that meal did not provide me with emotional and physical satisfaction that I was desiring. I have no desire to prolong the experience with dessert, and thus I am left feeling a little high and dry. On top of that, I reject the idea of rekindling the flame with gourmet raw food - I even tried some cacao the other day and...nothing!!

The next thing is my digestive system has not been as smooth as I had expected, there is a fair amount of grumbling going on after each meal and I feel a little tired. I actually feel ten-times better after a green juice. And this is is exactly where I am going now! Green smoothies also seem a little taxing but after a green juice I feel positively high and in love with life. After two quarts of these and one quart of lemon water, I have almost enough energy and so much tangible joy to get me bouncing through the day. So, I have strongly considered going back on the juices. A part of me wants to get my digestive system used to food first, just to be sure that everything is ok. So for now I am doing half a gallon of green juice and a small salad, with lots of warm water. I also have to acknowledge that I took my feast too far, for whatever reason and experienced some nausea and light-headedness even post-feast. So there may be a part of me that is still recovering, making this experience a little more unique. I do hope so, to ensure that feast breaking is a little more joyous for others. I am glad that I am taking it slowly back to the world of food, because if my stomach was a match for my mind pre-feast, I might be suffering the physical effects right now.

Juice Feasting today was magical!!

I had 3l Spinach, Parsley, Coriander, Carrot, Celery and Apple Juice...heaven!
1l Lemon, MSM, Water
1l Fresh Nettle Tea (baby nettles are poking their heads up all over the place!!)
2l Fresh Mint, Nettle and Honey Tea

Tomorrow may be another one of those juicing days, we will see..

Reflections on Sustainable Living

2008-03-08T11:45:00.001-08:00

Today has been one of those grey, misty uninviting days, where I long for a few precious drops of sunshine on my tongue. Mistiness has given way to some (more!) deep reflection. I have to say that I can't feel that I am flying just yet. I am still in a very deep process of sifting and understanding myself. I am questioning London, Paris and the consumerist world I inahbit. I wonder what pleasure, and quality of life the city holds when I naturally yearn for nature. I am in love with trees, plants, open landscapes and fresh air. I feel such a connection with this when I start to put fresh living greens in my body that even the nettles on the sidewalk vibrate to me with newfound life and meaning.

I yearn to live in the countryside, to find the space be self-sufficient, to stop investing my time and money in a mechanical way of living that I feel ultimately detached from. And yet I have some social ties that keep me here, love for example. I wonder if I should accept my fate, as all spiritual paths and creativley optimise what I have, thereby leading the way for others in the same situation - paving alternative ways of living in the city, as many already do. Yet I am alarmed at the efforts I invoke to fund my lifestyle; alternative living in the city is so very expensive. I work so hard just to eat the untreated greens that grow in nature, and so much of my money goes through a middleman and passes into a system that is not about cooperative living but that fuels competition, and one-upmanship. For example I beleive that we are wasting so much time, throwing our money elsewhere to the supermarkets, the global corporations and to imported goods that we lose sense of giving back to our communities and optimising our energies. I am thinking of Permaculture principles here, what if we could go back to a time when I swapped the surplus of carrots in my back garden for some of your excess walnuts and apples. We could minimalise waste too, think how much produce is wasted by supermarkets overstocking to feed the masses. These are all vague ideas, but I really start to believe that we should be recultivating land that has been degraded through disrespect, on lovingly small scales, investing back into our communities and soil, and beginning to be self-sufficient and knowledgeable, developing closer connections between each other.

I live in a tightly packed city and yet I work hard to develop a connection with my neighbour because we live distant lives and rarely have the opportunity to engage. I need to work sixty hours a week, just to feed and house my own back, and those hours to me seems to brutally squander the preciousness of minutes. I want to be optimising my time doing the things that I believe in. I find this hard to do considering the hours that I have to work. When I spent my summer WWOOFING in a self-sustainable community it was a moment of enlightenment, a truly Edenic experience. I worked 6 hours a day doing the things I loved, connecting and observing nature, and contributing to the community that lived there; feeling amazing joy and clarity, and reaping the pleasures that nature gives back. Life in the city since, has been a little confused. I question why I continue to contribute mindlessly to this dysfunctional community. I need to either find a way of making meaning from the raw materials that I have been given and stick to that, making the changes that I want to see where I am or follow my dreams.

Today I had:

3l Warm Water and Lemon Juice
Small Wilted Spinach, Rocket, Lamb's Lettuce and Microgreens with Nori
2l Green Juice

Still not feeling wonderfully enthused about food...don't know why but no big deal. Keeping it liquid.

Revved Up

2008-03-07T18:06:00.000-08:00

Now by body has readjusting to food, (finally!) I seem to be going into serious energy overdrive, like a revved up motor that has just received another dose of fuel thrown on to the fire. I do not know what to do with myself, it seems I have waaaay too much time with myself and far too many questions circling in my head. I need to sit down and think now, breathe, inahle and relax. the most important thing for me to address now is all these ideas spinning around me, they need to be moved into motions. The feast was all about elevating myself from the wintry cave in my mind, seeking inspiration, refocusing and gaining the confidence to act upon my desires. Now is essentially about striking while the iron's still hot thus respecting the glorious life-affirming postivity of mind that the juicefeast allowed me to connect with. I am so happy for many things right now, above all for the connection I feel with other people, giving and receiving novel acts of kindness. I smile ten times more than I ever have and have the ooomph of a fired up kid. I need to be moving from London within the next week or so and pressing on with my life, drawing my paths in the sand.

Juice breaking is still weird. My eyes have a huge apetite and yet my stomach wants very little. After my water lemon and MSM combo, 1l Green Juice in the morning I am not hungry again until 6pm at which point I wolf down a small cucumber, seaweed and tomato salad and then thats it for the day. The salads are divine, but food is really not what it was cracked up to be for all the duration of the feast. Neither do I remember ever being so detached from food in my life. And its quite scary because it leaves me a lof of spare time on top of my minimal sleeping hours. I am very nostalgic about juicing. I feel like I want to jump back in or at least do half a week juicing, half on solids.

I am craving Spring, for renewal and sunlight and fresh air and running outdoors. I find that I am always cold especially with all the green juices and smoothies and desire more than ever to bathe in blissful sunshine. I have been reading extracts of Arnold Ehret's "Ratinal Fasting" and I am bowled over by the clarity of his system; fresh air, sun bathing, singing, walking, mental purity and exhileration of the mind are all essential factors for optimal living. I know I have the diet factor nailed for the time being, but I want to expand so much more on the other aspects. I love nature, but I rarely respect my desire to immerse myself fully in natural settings for long enough periods of times. I do miss that. See where I am going with this? Hm.

Today I had:

1l Lemon and MSM Water
1l Pure Water with Psyllium
1l Carrot and Spinach Juice
Handful Grapes
1 Persimmom Fruit
Cucumber, Tomato, Dulse, Paprika, Lemon Juice and Garlic Salad with Microgreens
100ml Green Smoothie...(made a litre but was waaay to full to drink all this)

Transitioning Back

2008-03-06T13:10:00.000-08:00

Well, I have been letting the blogging go a little of late! Naughty me. I shall explain why. I have had such a roller-coaster of the past two days post-feast that I wasn't quite ready to share my experiences until I had properly evaluated and understood them. Now, I feel that I can safely say that these past two days have thrown up collectively more crap than some of the most intense days I had fasting. It feels like soaked prunes and the re-introduction of food to the mind have created a whole minefield of stored emotions that have emerged to the psyche with a renewed force. On top of that juicing was like a panacea to negativity, and suddenly I am like a child alone on her two feet fending for herself without support. The strength I have lies deeper within and I need to search deeper for it.

Food was, for the first two days and to my great suprise somewhat less appealing than the sublime lanscape that I had mapped out in my mind for fifty days. My taste-buds are amazing and yet I feel that I have no strong desire for any of the things I am eating. I crave salad; clover, romaine, baby spinach, mizuna, rocket, drizzled with olive oil and lemon juice, olives, tahini, seaweed, avocado and all the sophisticated dleights that await me in a few days. I know I soundlike an ingrat, but regarding the juicy fruits and soaked prunes, I could happily pass these over. Juice has had more appeal yet I am surprised not to pounce on the solids and to feel a little deprived of the big salad that I desire!! Today I introduced wonderful cucumbers, grated and juicy with tomatoes into my diet, drizzled with lemon juice, paprika and garlic. This may be a little premature but I was craving a salad of sorts - and it was truly worth it. I have re-connected with the hungry feeding giant inside of me and felt truly gratified. I think I needed that little treat post-feast to celebrate. And I was so full so quickly.

Yesterday I spend most of the evening on the toilet, and gave myself a colonic because there was so much more to come. The prunes seemed to have pushed out some ancient artefacts lodged inside of me and the release was incredible. I think the next few days will be coming to terms with all of this and readjusting. I am continuing to juice and buy bulk produce from the market and I feel very dehydrated without 1l liquid/day. I am even contemplating whether or not we really need food as human beings, it seems so complicated. Juice feels right, empowering, and light while food feels a little more social. I think that the former will remain a siginificant part of my life from now on.

Today I was given an open occasion to reflect on many year gone by. I had to sort out clean all the stored boxes from our former family home. Going through all the souvenirs of my childhood I was surpised to feel regret at the time squandered with sadness, and misplaced hope. I wouldn't be where I am now if I had not gone through what I had but I really wish that other kids don't have to fight with the depression and hopelessness of living that I felt as a kid. I threw away all my artwork from college because it seemed all so utterly misplaced in its futility and self-inflicted suffering and at odds with what I beleive in -there is meaning in everything, God and love all around, I hope to teach kids the joy in seeking joy and the love in seeking love as I develop ways in my own right to continue living each day as a blessing.

Yesterday I had

Soaked Prunes and Soak Water
350ml Amazing Kale Blood Orange and Kohlrabi Smoothie (from Inspiral Lounge, Camden High Street)
500ml Spinach, Apple and Berry Green Smoothie
1.5l Spring Greens, Apple, Carrot, Celery and Ginger Water
1.5l Pure Water
1l Lemon, Ginger, MSM Water
Supplements: B12, Probiotics, Psyllium Husks, Cascara Sagrada
Enema (most intense ever)

Today I had

1l Lemon Water with MSM
1l Blood Orange, Celery and Basil Juice
1l Green Juice with Spinach, Basil, Orange and Kiwi
A Handful of Grapes
Half a Grated Cucumber(deseeded), Some Cherry Tomatoes (deseeded), Lemon Juice, Paprika and Finely Grated Garlic
Supplements: B12 and Probiotics

Going Forth with Prunes

2008-03-04T05:25:00.000-08:00

I didn't have a chance to write yesterday as my computer has crashed and I like to take my time to write my posts ;). I have some news to break, and it comes with a little trepidation to announce that I have be moved away from the juicing community and back to solids. This all feels very sudden to me but I know that my body had moved out of the cleansing phase these past four days and that I had reached a plateau. I have lost my appetite and am feeling weak and dizzy with headaches. My first reaction was to question what I had done wrong, sifting through all the possible traps to suggest why I couldn't go just a little bit longer. Now, Carrie summed it up just perfectly for me, "numbers mean nought", when the body is ready to move on you better well listen to those signs, or you risk doing yourself some harm. Because this process is exactly about reconnecting with the messages that the body gives and creating a loving relationship between actions and effects, internally, externally and outwardly. Thus its seems that there is no fixed time, just tune in to your intuition. Feasting is tool that I will use time and time again, and I think that each one must vary so much with regards to results and time sequences. Thats what I enjoy so much, you can focus on what you want from the process, invest love, positivity and work hard to sustain it but you can't help but love the twists and turns and changes that this process reveals. It is never ending and you never, never really know what stored emotions, matter, inspirations or forgotten passions are to emerge to the surface next. The key for me has been to love the process and relish each day, and I feel that I have got so much love back - its all a bit Solaris-esque!

If I am honest, it was a little bit of a struggle to pull myself away from the feast. I am still coming to terms with it. It has been such a wonderful holiday in this marvellous community that I did not want it to end. I know that 92 days is just a number, and the process varies for each person but I relished the time set aside during that period to savour the experience, to go deeper spiritually and to 'selfishly' indulge in my own 'quest' - so to speak. I was not prepared mentally for the end, it sprung up on me like, for lack of a better expression, what an inexperienced teenage boy must experience when the act of lovemaking is comes to an end prematurely. This particular experience has certainly been of great intensity but oh, how I wish I could spend a little moment longer lanuguishing in its palpable joy. I feel better in making an acknowledgement that there is no 'end' to becoming a better, more receptive and more giving person, this journey has simply been the opening of the door into a Wonderland that I am free to explore because I have envisioned it and now have the key to it. It is still part of me. It is now more a question of using the spiritual tools I have gleaned such as postive thinking to tap into the infinite flow of love inside and outside to guide me towards the things that I truly want to do. I intend to teach what I have learned and lean towards a working vocation in Natural Health. I am keen to practise sustainable living and natural farming, and I want to practise open and loving communication with others. I feel blessed to have met all you other wonderful people who share the same vision as I, as it has renewed and fuelled my faith in this path, I do hope we can all meet up one day!!

Yesterday was a day of deep reflection for me. I knew when I woke up that it was soon time to break the feast, and I wanted to express gratitude for all that this process had given me. It was perhaps the most joyful day so far of the whole feast. I was very light for not having drunk enough juice, and as such I felt such an open channel to my heart, I was smiling all day. I don't think I have ever smiled so much at the world in all my life as I have these last two months! I am so grateful for this juice feast to have got me out of a rut, feeling out of touch with the world, frustrated in my relationships with many people, helpless, joyless, directionless, foggy and confused. The change has been immense. Losing weight was also a focus at the beginning though to be honest I don't think I have lost much at all. And ironically it is so far from my mind now, I have learnt to love myself, and acceptance of my body is a part of that. I feel good acknowledging that I am more a Betty Page kinda girl, and feeling very beautiful on that point. There have been a few challenges on the way, but they all seem to be for the better. Namely, my family's issue with my lifestyle is no longer a problem for me. My confronting them, has forced me to open up instead of hiding behind cached versions of me, and has allowed me to discuss and understand their concerns, creating a more profound link with honesty. I feel so much less fearful in my approach problems, and know that if I want something now, I have to ask for it. And that goes for love too.

Diet-wise I never thought I would say this but I am going to keep it very liquid for the time being, juice feasting once a week and continuing with the Lemon Water MSM, 1l Green Juice and Skin Brushing as a daily routine. I also look forward to continuing to support my local farmers, and feel very confident in the effect of the Global Juice Feast on the farming communities - lets continue to create waves!

Prunes this morning was a little bit of an anti-climax. I jumped out of bed at the crack of dawn with an excitement akin to those tingles I had as a kid when Christmas sprung up. I did my Lemon Water MSM and cracked of into the woods for a very magical reunion with my beloved food. The taste was just not how I remembered them but I put this down to my body being a little off right now, not having much of an apetite. The sweetness was very sickly and I was so very thirsty after, even after drinking all the soak water. I was craving a geen juice for balance! So thats what I did and then I decided that magical Green Juice is going to remain a staple part of my diet for the forseeable future.

I know this post is a bit long - I just wanted to languish in the joyous ecstacy of these past 49 days a little longer. Now, to embrace the next step of this journey, still peeling at the layers of this great big onion.

One big thank you, for the lovely bloggers who contributed their time, knowledge and support and comments - you guys, have been of unquestionable strength to me throughout this, and to the Global Juice Feasters, I look forward to following you all through this hero's journey. But most of all to David and Katrina, you have given me such a wonderful tool in my life, I will always be grateful to you for your knowledge, research and for spreading this message of love.

Ecstatic Blissful Love...

Today I had

1l Lemon Water, MSM and Cayenne
Prunes and Soak Water
1.5l Spring Greens, Cucumber and Apple Juice

Yesterday I had

3l Lemon Water, Ginger and MSM
0.8l Pinapple, Kale, Cucumber and Celery Juice

Finding Strength, Day 48

2008-03-02T14:03:00.000-08:00

I am happy to report that I am nearly back on form. I had not drunk any juice is 48 hours but tonight I managed or am in the process of downing almost 3 litres, now ain't that a feat! On top of that yesterday I could barely walk, and I nearly passed out getting out the bath but today I managed to walk 2km with three bags full of juice produce! Hurray, how the body heals with a little bit of love and rest. Thank you all for your lovely, lovely comments - I am so grateful to be part of such a loving community. I am all love again, which is such a transformation as I had a harsh reminder yesterday of how when the body suffers, it is hard for the mind to stay positive. I emailed David and Katrina Rainoshek today for some advice, as I was starting to feel concerned. I was absolutely touched by their kindness and the generosity of their advice - they are such lovely beings, and I feel like part of a big, loving juicy family. Honestly it is loving bods like these who can really make a change in the world, I strongly believe in that and I am so excited to be part of the Global Juice Feast, we are physically enacting in ourselves the change that we want to see in the world, leading by example. I really hope that this blip is just a healing crisis that will pass with time. David advised me that I should not really be water fasting at this stage in the feast, so I am making a big effort to regain my appetite for juice, starting with the sweeties, tonight. I am also going to take some B12, because I might have a deficiency here. I am, however open to the possibility that I might break the feast if I don't feel better in a few days. We will see how it goes. I think the important is being open to your body, she knows best and will guide me towards the right decision with due course.
This juice feasting experience has been absolutely magical, I relish each day seeing another layer unravel, going deeper into the space in my heart and feeling love and joy. There is also safety in juicing, I don't need to think about food, and when I am hungry I just sip a juice and I feel instantly better - no bad food combinations, no overeating, no questioning whether I am hungry or just thirsty, more space in my head, more time and such clarity of thought. Now I am in the swing of things, juicing feels so effortless. Obviously, the journey will continue on the other side but I just hope that my time to break has not come yet! On the other hand, I feel that so much has changed for me during this period that I ought to count my blessings for achieving so much, so far and tuck away that ego! I will be gaging it over the next few days with the help of the lovely Rainosheks!
Yesterday I had a little winge about my family's support. My dad's girlfriend later remarked that she had noticed my skin looking radiant (she is a former beautician) and that I looked slim and healthy. This little comment changed my dad's perspective and today we actually managed to have an open discussion about the feast and I felt a little more support and receptivity. I am thrilled about this and happy to demonstrate the positive health effects through wordless motions. It proves potential in every situation if you invest the faith of your conviction.
On that tip, I am happy to announce a reconciliation between my other half and I. As I once expressed, he is a beautiful angel but I found then that the situation was not working. This is not in keeping with my mode of thought that with love and openness, everything is possible. I believe that when you give your love to somebody, that you do everything in your power to keep that love. Love is sacred, a blessing and a gift from God - in love all things are possible. I feel deep remorse for walking away from that, for succumbing to my feelings of hopelessness. Nothing is hopeless unless you deem it be so. We are creative beings, and are responsible for the conditions we create in our lives. Isn't that empowering to know? I have had a moment to reflect and some space but with greater clarity I can see that I do not want the love that we built to die. We created that love like a child and it is our responsibility to conserve it. Our conversations touch me immensely now, I feel hope for our future together and joy in the act of rebuilding love, an infinite source of energy, like the sun. Many of the things I say now were taught to me by David, a deeply spiritual and beautiful person. I am lucky to have found him and intent on keeping him in my life.

Phew, what a post. All this love talk is making me feel much more vibrant and alive!

Today I had:

2l Orange, Grapefruit and Lemon Juice (my favourite!)
1l Carrot Juice
Enema and many hot baths!
I mean to go back on to strengthening green juice tomorrow, I was just taking it easy with some comfort juice today.

Challenges

2008-03-01T09:45:00.000-08:00

Today is Day 46 and is the first encounter of a real challenge to come my way since the start. I feel absolutely dire, dizzy spells, weakness, chills, headaches and teariness. I could barely get out of bed into a hot bath this morning, but I managed with little, light steps and even managed to register an enema. On top of that, my family have picked up on this occasion to express their concern about this juice feast. It took great force to have to explain this process as a 'journey' that may encounter a few blips, though which are integral to the cleansing process, in order to experience greater health and joy on all levels - and that I have sufficient knowledge of this process to pursue it without any danger to myself. I didn't feel that they were convinced, as they insisted that I should break it. I explained that I had cured a lifetime of depression, with my first juice feast amongst other things and that I wanted to go even further into the process this time around. My father's response was "I feel joy when I am eating a pizza and a cheesecake", which closed the argument for me. There is nothing more I can say, but it hurts me to see that they disapprove of my actions. I feel that since I have been following a more holistic, natural way of living, that my family have detached a little from me. I am very clear of my thoughts, and more conscious about the impact of negative thought on life. I am not active in the group moaning and bitching sessions that have been paradigm for our interaction as a family for most of my life. And everything I choose to do, for example studying Natural Nutrition next year is plagued with their dismissal and doubt. I have been lumped with my mother - a complementary health practitioner - in the 'airy-fairy' category, which is, shockingly, a huge rejection from my two brothers and my father. Unfortunately my mother also thinks that this juice feast is all a bit too extreme. I would like them to understand that I have experienced the lightness and love of this world for the first time in all my life on this nutritional path. It has opened the door to living in synchronisty and harmony with life, and placed me in alignment with God.

My first juice fast was the first time in my life that I woke up with gratitude to be alive, is that not a feat worthy of praise? I began to love myself, love other people and open up to the beautiful energy inherent in children. I began to love nature, and feel a deeper respect for her wisdom. And I began to feel confident in my own unique path as a human being, and proud to be part of the dance of life. I would love to convince the world of the manifold solutions to the negativity and problems we live today can be resolved through natural nutrition, loving openness to each other and respect for nature and Universal Love. It starts with a few conscious seeds to be sown with openness. But the biggest poison is doubt which has, conversely plagued my own former years and which I believe is quite prevalent as a habit that goes without questioning. I am not saying that I am above all this, quite the contrary, it is a constant struggle for me, as I was the worst of all hardened cynics that you could possible encounter. But thats not the point, it is about being aware of your thoughts more than anything, consciousness is key. I am dedicated to searching, unraveling the layers and going deeper into my conditioning; and thats what this juice feast is about. Nonetheless sometimes words don't cut it, you have to experience it to know how deep this process goes - I only wish that it would not put the backs up of those around me. I am not posing a threat to them, I am simply following a path that I feel to be right for me. Love, Poppy

Today:

Enema, Skin Brush and Warm Bath
1l Fresh Sage and Mint Tea

A little postscript about trusting your body. I suppose when you suffer a detox crisis, you may be tempted to think that the Juice Feast doesn't work, afterall why should it make you ill? I am reminded in investing the same faith the wisdom of your body and we should invest into the knowledge of nature - I think of organic farming, for example. How often have we inflicted pain on the soil, in thinking that the chemicals we apply and unnatural mono-culture systems improve the quality of our produce? People are beginning to understand now that working with nature, improves the bounty that she offers us, in turn improving our relationship with her and continually regenerating the soil. Faith and respect are key - trusting that the wisdom of our bodies to heal and know itself is greater than what we think we know.

Better Days...45

2008-02-29T13:14:00.000-08:00

Yuk, don't feel on top form right now. Juice is just...ooh-eee and the idea of green juice feels so wrong! Am eliminating a helluvalot, so I think maybe this is just a detox phase. Still forcing the juice down, though I think my body is asking for a rest. Wanting to get through this phase, and back on top.

Today I had:

1l Orange and Lemon Juice
1l Chard, Broccoli, Fennel, Garlic(!), Celery Juice
1l Pineapple, Celery Juice with Psyllium Husks
0.5l Beetroot, Red Pepper, Carrot and Apple Juice ( I am sipping on this right now but I think some of this is going to have to feed the weeds in my garden.)

Love, Poppy

Discipline, Day 43

2008-02-28T02:35:00.000-08:00

Discipline and focus are the themes that seem to be reverberating through manifold aspects of my days at present. It seems fair enough considering that I may be retracing back to childhood; and in addition children seem to be attracting my attention with renewed enthusiasm - I am gaga for kids at the moment.

My mind has been wandering on all sorts of tangents of late, most notably food cravings, boredom and general mind wanderings that are all lovely and fine but that stray from the very fact that my life exists right here, right now. I find that I can be so focused on one thing that it appears to be consume me, but really thoughts can be shifted, and the thing that in one moment enthuses my attention so strenuously is like a ball that can be deflated to occupy less space and give way to other thoughts. I have ultimate control of my thoughts, when I think that all I want to do is eat food, travel far, avoid work - all I have to do is switch my focus back to the now and meditate on the curiosities that ensue from the fulfillment of what I am doing.

I have always had problems with discipline, I have an inherent stubbornness, that adversely pursues the opposite direction of what she is told to do, just because I am being told. Such often prevents me from being open to new ideas and directions, unless I feel that they have come from me. Yet I find that authoritative instruction often conceals people's own frustrations at not being able to do what they want to do; or is even used as a pass the parcel for people's negative energy. Sometime people need to vent, and in order to do so they take on a paternal, "I am annoyed because you are not doing what I tell you to do" tone, but really they are annoyed because they have received some negative energy from somebody else, who has subsequently received their own from somebody else and so forth. I am trying to understand to break that chain of negative energy, through love. It is quite a work upon reflex habit. It had been a lifelong tendency, to transfer one person's aggression to another person - in childhood I would transmit my parent's scoldings to my twin brother, and he would probably transmit that onto his school friends, or his Luke Skywalker man. And in the real world , when I receive anger in this form, it stings, and those stings make it hard for me to disperse it and furthermore, to give love back. But shouting at somebody is a way of asking for love, healing - perverse as it may be, and it would only make it worse to shout back. I am on top of the world right now, with so much love to give. Is it possible to sustain this? Sometimes somebody's anger can suddenly burst this bubble, and make me question whether or not I was just dreaming happiness. Personal change is such a fine line, you cross it but it is so easy to come back to square one - negativity. And in that state of mind, you have to climb a hill to come back on yourself. It is a persistent quest, I am not sure that there is a plateau of constant positivity but I am sure it gets easier with habit and self-instilled discipline. I think strongly about raising my future kids with in a more free-thinking approach, to think and discover truth for themselves without the intervention of fear tactics. I believe that self-discipline is important to instill, but that there must be a more loving, non-authoritative way to do so. I would love to hear any suggestions...Off to frolick now in the forest with Mother Nature. Love and Light.

Yesterday I had

2l Water with MSM and Psyllium
1.5l Pineapple, Parsley and Celery Juice
1l Parsley, Fennel, Beetroot and Pear Juice
1l Orange Juice
500ml Grapefruit and Celery Juice
Turkish Baths and Skin Brush

Passing the Parcel, Day 42

2008-02-26T17:44:00.000-08:00

Do the layers ever stop unravelling? Its like playing pass the parcel with a cheating parcel that has no end. Where's this hidden, naked me, or am I just a constantly unravelling paper sheets that reproduce at the same rate as those unwrapped. Just as I think I am coming into my own, striding in my pace, whoosh comes another layer of cleansing that twirls my head back around, fiddles my direction, and reveals a whole new variety of the mucky stuff from inside. I know its been said often but I shall repeat the again juice feasting mantra...Where does it all come from? Does one ever stop shitting? I thought I was pretty clean. And I am so up and down right now and constantly wavering in direction - I would love for the scales to finally fan out into an even equilibrium. Don't get me wrong, I am still loving this journey to the full and I feel undeniably wonderful! But I would dearly love a few days' steadiness, predictability and relaxation. Plus I am so high right now, I can't get to sleep until very late, and its a full-time job keeping the crazy hyperactive kid in me occupied all the time. Sigh. Love...

Today I had:
1l of Pineapple and Cucumber Juice with Hemp Oil
2l of Spring Greens, Beetroot, Celery, Parsley, Broccoli and Carrot Juice
2l Pure Water with 2tsp of MSM
2 tsp Bee Pollen
Enema

Day Amendment

2008-02-26T03:27:00.000-08:00

I have just realised that I am completely out of keel on my day numbering. Today is actually Day 42 not Day 40! I am not quite sure how that happened but, two days slipped into a mysterious hatch somewhere along the way. Thanks to the lovely Juicy Ben, always two days ahead of me; making me realise something was up when he raced four days in front of me. Oh well, Happy 42 Days to me today then - I have never been one for feast days anyway. Love to you. xx

Love Community, Day 39

2008-02-25T16:11:00.002-08:00

I am loving the global juice feast countdown excitement. I am loving the online raw community at Give it to me Raw. I am loving the London spots where raw foodist meet; Inspiral Lounge, VitaOrganic, Bonnington Cafe.. Its astounding to see such an established community of loving bods connecting, sharing and believing in the revolution of healthful living. It is no surprise that each of these people radiate kindness and love. I really hope this message grows stronger, connecting more people, and bringing in more love. For me this is all so novel. Raw food was a personal journey for over a year, I didn't share my experiences with anyone else following the same path. I was a little apprehensive to tell my friends and family and even my colonic hydrotherapist didn't really get it. Now this blog has given me the impetus to reach out to others and it is wonderful. Voila, my speech for the day. I feel like I am broaching new levels energy and renewal; though I am quite restless and need to find a constructive target for all this. I am coming into a whole new phase in this feast. Day 40 tomorrow, happy feast day to me...

Today I had,

3l Spring Greens, Parsley, Lettuce, Broccoli and Apple Juice
1l Carrot and Ginger Juice
1l Orange, Lemon and Ginger Water with MSM
Enema, Skin Brush Contrast Showers

Bounce

2008-02-25T08:10:00.000-08:00

Boing...boing...boing. Thats how yesterday was, like two powerful little springs were attached to the undersides of my feet and I could be thrown high up into the clouds. But coming down with my my party-pooper pal, Gravity felt a little dull. Then up then down, and so on. I am trying to go a bit easy on the sugar consumption because it really affects me, and though I do love the super highs, coming down ain't so fly. And as it stands, even on a wonderfully virtuous juice feast there are still a few faux-pas whose consequences can't simply be dismissed as detox. Thats what I find so crazy, the more 'virtuous' one becomes the more sensitive one is. I was often teased my my other half about the preciousness of my diet, and my preoccupation with having a 'clean' colon. Unfortunately he is right! The healthier I become, the more aware. So sugar is not doing it for me right now, and just green juice gives me the shivers. What a rut! But there is some lovely detox happening right now in the enema department, I am pleased to announce! These sessions are becoming all-together richer - the process is less pleasurable but the results are very satisfactory!

Yesterday I had:

1l Orange and Grapefruit Juice
1l Green Juice: Kale, Spinach, Romaine, Broccoli and Parsley
1l Carrot and Celery Juice
1l Apple and Romain Juice
1l Lemon and Ginger Water with MSM
2tsp Bee Pollen
1tsp Psyllium Plus
Enema, Skin Brush and Contrast Shower

Boundless Possibilities

2008-02-23T14:05:00.000-08:00

Yesterday didn't get a post - I was out dancing like a banshee, hopping from one club to another until the early dawn. I like to call it the juice feast dance! I have never had so much energy in my whole life! And joy, I am positively floating on love. And of course, what you give, the Universe always gives back - love is everywhere, in every object, in every being, in every particle; there's goodness. I am learning some wonderful lessons right now, and the possibilities seem endless. It reminds me of being in love, when you feel a connection in a relationship that has no end, bound with both apprehensive and blissful abandonment, standing on the cusp of infinite hope - that is more or less a mirror of my life here and now. I think there is a link between romantic love and spiritual love, that when two people understand that all beings and objects are connected through love, they can truly conceive the path of love between themselves, a to-and-fro of energy transmitted that connects you to the Universe. Love is just tapping a little deeper into the stone to reveal a mystical, abundant flow of light. I feel that we think too much of love ensuing from the conditions that we create. I believe that love flows from love. Thats why I liked Katrina's post about finding your dream partner by sending love to him/her, before you have even met her. Sending love into the Universe creates the right conditions to receive, and so does Juice Feasting! So who is ready for the Global Juice Feast? I am so excited about being back in London for this. There is a 'real' community of feasters and raw fooders that I had never tapped into before. Do you see what I mean about endless possibilities? Once you unravel the layers...Love.

Today I had
1l Blood Orange/Lemon Juice with MSM and Hemp Oil
1l Chard, Beetroot and Carrot Juice
1l Pear, Fennel and Romaine Juice
1l Carrot, Broccoli, Celery Juice
1l Lemon Water with Psyllium Plus
1tsp bee pollen and a 1 tbsp honey...
One amazing but scary 4l Enema - I thought I was going to be sick) but the release..whoooosh!
Bathing at the Turkish Baths..(bliss)

Come Into Knowledge

2008-02-21T14:39:00.001-08:00

My theme tune today has been Ramp's "Come into Knowledge", and such has been the theme of my day. I am loving the resources available in London, so many magazines, books available on many different subjects. I have been reading mostly about Permaculture and methods of sustainable living, raw foods, relationships and love. Life seems so pregnant with possibilities once you start to uncover the layers in this vast field of understanding; living joyfully and in harmony with the nature, with compassion for all, with truth in one's heart. I feel that I am growing into the person that I was supposed to inhabit, I know an feel completely what is right for me. Recently I made a decision to come out of a relationship based on a sudden feeling of heart, and for the past few days I have found it very hard to truly accept that decision. Now I know with true understanding that the inspiration that is coming to me right now in my life are heart choices founded in perfect alignment with where I want to go in my life. I am driving my life towards health and fulfillment and I can only be thankful for the extraordinary direction in which this journey is taking me. I feel real purpose right now, essentially one of the keys to happiness, knowing that there's a little corner for you on this Earth to act, create and contribute. In Joy...

Today I had

1l Orange, Lemon and Grapefruit Juice with Hemp Oil
1l Romaine, Celery, Purple Sprouting Broccoli and Carrot Juice
1l Lettuce, Celery, Apple and Beetroot Juice
1l Cucumber, Grapefruit and Mint Juice
1l Lemon, Honey an MSM Water
1l Pure Water
2 tsp Bee Pollen
Enema, Skin Brush, Hot and Cold Showers.

Detoxing with headaches, ear wax, runny nose, chills...the works! But lots of energy!

Music of My Mind

2008-02-20T14:36:00.000-08:00

Today, walking through London to the sounds of Eddie Kendricks' "Date With The Rain" aroused so much joy from within. For the past month songs have been popping into my mind from out of nowhere, performing a soundtrack that sings inside of me, rustling up lovely emotions from within. Music fills London's vastness with colour and depth, and people take on a whole new life - strangers become lively characters all connected in the same play, and I feel an unprecedented connection and compassion with all around. Music is joy, a connecting force, that joins people providing spiritual transcendence. Music is a ritual for the masses, to reach higher levels of union. Nightclubs have often invoked a spiritual union for me - the persistent rhythm of the beat, the connecting force to which people excite harmony in the dance, that gorgeous synchronisity of movement. Is anyone else on this journey feeling the wonders of music resonating with greater force? I am just touched by it right now. Speaking the other night with a friend about the concept of composing a spiritual form of music, we concluded that music is, inherently this; as it signifies hope. Its abstract nature creates a field in which we can project our feelings, its melody elevates our mood, its rhythm is a life force. Singing is a prayer, taking breath deep into your lungs an exhaling an image of one's inner-soul. Dancing is to rejoice. I am relishing right now this extraordinary truth. Happiness, sadness and all feelings are combined in the extensive field of emotion that music encompasses. I have decided that I am going to reconnect with my love of music this week and take myself to a lovely club where everyone just loves to dance; with joy and verve. In Joy, Poppy x

Today I had:

1l Orange, Lemon and MSM Juice
1l Butternut Squash, Carrot, Yellow Pepper and Paprika Juice
1l Romaine,Celery, Carrot and Beetroot Juice
300ml Carrot and Purple Sprouting Broccoli Juice
1l Lemon Water with Psyllium Husks
300ml Apple, Cucumber and Kiwi Juice
1l Pure Water
1tbsp Bee Pollen

Hurray, I am back on track today with avid enthusiasm for the love of juice!

Fear, Day 34

2008-02-19T08:44:00.000-08:00

Thank you all for your kind, supportive comments. I am going through the motions today but I think that is perfectly healthy and am sure that I will be embracing my daily blessings soon. I find that coming out of a relationship throws up a detox that is totally equatable with juice feasting. One moment you are fine, the next you are pouring out something that you didn't even know you had inside you! Why do I find it so difficult? I think I have an inbuilt fear of suffering, that prevents me from allowing myself to go through the motions. The slightest inkling of pain an I am reaching out mentally for a cure; food, picking up the phone an reconciling with the man concerned, running away...I was trying so hard to block out the emotions, that I even considered breaking the feast as if that would make things more 'comfortable' for me. My relationship with food has always been based on blocking out feelings, an excess of sadness, trepidation, even joy and I would turn to food to sober me. That is why I mean to continue because these challenges are allowing me to confront my comfort zones and build my strength. I believe I might have stayed in a relationship that didn't work because I was scared of the reality of reconstructing my life alone. Fear prevented me from taking my life in my hands and following my heart. Today without warning I broke out into tears, it felt so good to feel the pain running through me and finding release. I learnt right then to allow things to pass their rightful channels and not to be scared of the suffering, because thats the only way to get them out. So here's to letting those waters to run clear.

Today I had
250ml Orange Juice
250ml Grapefruit Juice
1l Water, Lemon, Honey, Psyllium and MSM

Well, still not doing very well...I mean to go and get an adaptor so I can plug in my juicer to a English power socket and then I will try to get as much as I can of my daily intake in this evening. Ironically the past few days of citrus juicing and minimal juice intake has really been cleansing for me, and I am eliminating a huge amount from my colon.

Photo Day 33!

2008-02-18T01:46:00.001-08:00

Today started with this photo and positive thoughts of positive change. An unawaited but not totally unexpected decision has been made and I am now sitting in a cyber cafe in Paris, waiting for a coach that will take me back to London tonight. Thats where my life seems to be taking me right now. I have decided to move away from a long-term relationship, calmly and will now be making some hugely decisive choices in my life. I feel positive about the forthcoming change and empowered to make the most of my choices, yet I will be leaving a precious moment of the past few years behind me. I have encoutered a beautiful angel in my life, but in many ways things were not right for us. I feel that its right to acknowledge the sadness that comes with letting go but I will not dwell in it; I am going to use all the power of this momentous moment to carry my life where I truly want to go. The next few weeks will be challenging in terms of juicing and resettling, London is a very expensive place to live; but I hope to carry on with this journey. I am now free to fulfil many dreams that hitherto now were not possible to pursue, and I am grateful to have the calm of mind and conviction of my choice. Love and Light, Poppy x

Today:
250ml Lemon Water
1l Spinach and Apple Juice
1l Orange Juice
Thats it unfortunately due to the circumstances. Back on track tomorrow.

Reeling Through My Mind

2008-02-17T15:29:00.000-08:00

For 32 days, I have been quietly observing the film of my life story unraveling before my eyes. Memories appear at the strangest of moments; in the queue at the supermarket, sitting on a bus, in the throes of lovemaking (very frequently!), whilst reading a book -the most random of moments embedded in my past are, for a moment in relived in their entirety, and with gusto. These are never bad memories, they often bring me closer to my family or a moment of pleasure that I project into future plans. I think about going back to that beach in Barcelona, sending some love to my brother in London to correct an argument we had as kids, hugging my mum for that meal she once prepared. But it is so strange to experience the vigor of an experience that dates over a decade with the vigor of sensation that I can actually taste certain foods in my mouth, smell salty sea water on the balcony of our childhood holiday flat, relive the melancholy of teenage years, as if tapping into the hidden pockets of my recollection. I am not suggesting that Juice Feasting has given me the superpowers of an upgraded hard drive but that memories are indeed never forgotten but entwined into every moment that we live and emerge in the cleansing process to re-establish a balance in our goals, dreams and general disposition in life. I am learning huge appreciation for many things, and feeling connected to the Universe, to know that everything is here for a reason, and to learn from every moment. And conversely in reminiscing; painful hardships no longer invoke suffering. I look over them with such fondness of moments that have both formed me and become a part of who I am today. I really am enjoying this precious journey of introspection, veritably feeling truth and understanding it for the first time. Only if one really feels deep love and compassion, can you show people with true certainty that it is possible to find balance and realignement in the Universe. I am grateful to actually be living these lessons rather than reading them because things seems to resonating with much greater clarity.
On a more material note, I am experiencing and a little pain in my lower back (possible the kidneys?). Hoping that I have some good detoxing going on. Spots are almost gone and my skin is glowing (with joy), and I am feeling physically radiant and sexy.

Today I Had:

1l Fennel, Lettuce, Pear Juice
1l Vegetable Broth
1l Pineapple Juice
1l Parsley, Romaine, Celery and Apple Juice
250ml Carrot Juice

I have not been getting the full quart of juices into my daily intake these past couple of days since I have not been as physically active as usual and have not felt any desire to force myself. Will be back on track tomorrow!

Gentle Stroll, Day 31

2008-02-16T16:18:00.001-08:00

I love these moments, sitting down at night, sipping on tea and reflecting - it feels wonderful to extrapolate on the grace of each day. Its been thirty-one days of juiciness and I couldn't even contemplate eating right now. Well, to be honest I think about food with redolent affection quite often. But to be clear, I couldn't quite physically contemplate eating it - its evocation is more a reflection of fond memories passed to observe and then let go. I find that with the upsurge of many emotions through this process, many food-associated experiences emerge simultaneously. I often used food to deal with emotions thus it is logical that such a combination of thought should emerge in association. Its funny to have attained thirty-one days and for it to feel so easy. I think it is partly to do with the quantity and quality of juice I am consuming on this program compared to previous 'juice-fasts'. However I also think that the fact that I have set myself a longer period this time allows my mind and body the time to take this journey at its own pace. I have been very much anticipating a strong detox crisis this past month and yet my body has been very merciful, and I have felt no symptoms of such a sort. I believe this is because I am developing a much closer contact with my mind and body, a complicity and understanding and we are healing together at a gentle pace, no tantrums, no drama just kindness and love. It is early days yet I remark that previously around thirty days feeling a strong desire to return to solids. It feels, this time round, uncannily like the inception of a much, much deeper journey. I am enjoying the experience more than anything, and am learning so much. I feel such gratitude to start to know my body better than I ever have and, each day to extend this knowledge to a higher level of understanding.

Poppy's Warming Beetroot and Ginger Broth

2008-02-15T05:38:00.000-08:00

Perhaps not strictly part of the program, but absolutely delicious when Spring tricks you and Winter comes backatcha double fast blowing cold winds that rustle up your sleeves, chilling your toes. Slowly bring up to the boil some turnips, carrots, onions, garlic, celery, beetroot, mixed peppercorns, parsley, ginger and a bay leaf in a a few litres of pure water, simmer, then strain and boy, do you have the most warming combination of a winter broth. Almost reminds me of my mum's chicken soup, that I was given whenever I was ill as a kid. Delicious!

Today I had:

4l of Beetroot and Ginger Broth (its just felt sooo good)
200ml Blood Orange Juice w/ Psyllium
Swig of the old "ALLO Vera"
300ml Apple, Beetroot, Cinnamon and Ginger Juice (Warmed to the touch)
1l Tomato, Beetroot, Celery, Cucumber, Garlic and Parsley Juice/Soup (Warmed in a Bain Mairie)
1l Lettuce, Pineapple, and Lemon Juice
1l Fennel, Cucumber, Pear and Mint Juice
Enema - I am starting to get a few solid movements from these, hoping that this is just the start.
Skin Brush and HOT baths (x2)

Messages, 29

2008-02-14T11:31:00.001-08:00

Reading back thoughts I wrote about three years ago. I think feasting is a lot about reconnecting the past with the now - through our memories we experience anew the present, gaining insight into the essential, understanding our achievements and reiterating the need to continue going forth burning our flame and understanding every moments we perform as an essential part of the dance of life. I am shocked to read how deeply melancholic, and negative my feelings about life were as a teenager. Its seems so unnatural that I used anger to reconcile my lack of comprehension for the movements of society. Funnily enough, I spoke about the same issues then that concern me today - drugs, pornography, media, etc but I used anger to block them out rather than compassion to deal with them. I think it is very easy to get into self-healing and forget about the larger picture, but to loosely quote Steiner, healing oneself start with healing the world. I think I am learning that all the wonderful gifts of understanding that I have gleaned with such gratitude these past two years must be used to help others. This is what I am becoming conscious of at the moment. I dream of one day living in a rural idyll with pure nature, but I think there is a much greater responsibility to fulfill first. Raw food and natural health has totally cured a lifetime's depression, yes a deep misunderstanding of life that long preceded puberty! I remember feeling suicidal as a six year old. That can't be right. But as soon as I started to connect with living foods, nature and life I felt whole again, in connection with life and brimming with joy, pretty instantaneously. I believe deeply in this path as a method of healing and repair. I have heard so many times that drugs and alcohol are so pervasive because people can't deal with the reality so they to tune out through this medium. It is time that people started reconnecting, with each other and with nature to rectify the damage that generations of perverse living patterns has invoked. With each generation, we are getting sicker and sicker, and school teachers will testify to the dissipating behavior of children. Such is the dilemma, as a raw foodist I have felt a deepening desire to 'get back to nature' and live in a raw community. I have experienced this at the Ecoforest, which was a truly sublime experience. But I believe that I ought to be connecting with and helping others here and now. I would love to train as a natural nutritionist and am looking at courses right now. I believe that there are many lessons that we need to get out there. I think it starts with food, as soon as you start nourishing and cleansing the body, you return to a lively state where you can follow your intuitions and connect with the world. Of course, it goes much deeper than food afterwards. But it follows simultaneously with the path of natural living/loving. It seems that simple to me. Thus the importance of staying put, and sharing love, vibrations and teachings as so many people are doing. This global juice feast sounds so rife with hope and possibilities, I am looking forward to tuning into this with so many wonderful people.
So back to juices, I am like a teething baby right now, chewing on everything before it goes in the juicer; celery, fennel, apples, romaine, you name it! I hope this fascination with food doesn't signify a winding down for me, because I am so hoping to go on with this, into the deep murky waters, so that when I emerge from this it will be such joy. Not to mention the pleasure of the taste buds, a simple fennel in my mouth feels like such a blessing. I like that. I tried a combination of spinach, parsley and carrot and it might have been a science of proportions but for some reason that particular combination tasted like bananas. Oh the pleasurable sensation of a banana smoothie, mmmm! Made 2 litres. Some excess silt of the unwashed spinach, that got past my nut milk bag some how made into my colon and presented me with a lovely cleanse.

Today I have so far had:
2l 'Banana Milk' Spinach, Carrot, Parsley
1l Cucumber and Pear
1l Romaine, Fennel, Cucumber, Apple
3tbsp Raw Local Honey (naughty)
1l Celery and Carrot
1l Water with Psyllium
Enema and Skin Brush

Time Travelling...

2008-02-14T03:35:00.000-08:00

Its a funny sensation, moving forward. Sometimes it feels like I am leaping hurdles, and bouncing ahead and other days I question if I have actually moved forward at all since starting this feast. The general feeling is I feel a zillion times lighter, that oh so apt expression for a juice feaster, and positive in the fact that I am investing a unique moment of repair and rest in my body. My goal for this feast is to gain deeper spiritual insight and to break the seemingly ancient patterns of negative thought that has plagued doubt upon every decision, action or move that I make in life. I want to be free to trust my instincts and heart, and positive in knowing that I am flowing in synchronisity with the energy of life, in truth and confidence of my path. I know from previous juice fasts the incredible feeling of awareness that it raises and yet I am starting to be impatient with attaining this this time round. So far, the feast has been a relatively easy path. Now, a third of the way through, I am getting impatient for my body to start releasing some of the bad stuff. Emotions have been pretty stable and detox has only been as bad as a slight grogginess and headache equivalent to a normal day on a cooked vegan diet as I seem to remember it. And bowel movements - well barely anything! I mean I am sure there's some more stuff hiding in there, where are you my little darlings? And get this, I haven't lost any weight! But that stuff is not what's bothering me, what I am waiting for is some raw emotion! I am waiting for the bad shit to come out, and...release, only for me to break into great tidal waves of human compassion. Oh what bliss!
Perhaps my expectations are too high, I ought to be grateful that so far its been a slow merciful detox. Yet, I am waiting for a little bit of drama, suspense and whoooosh! I am learning that spiritual enquiry is a lifetime's work, and starting to see this feast as the equivalent of a depressive's Prozac. Not an ecstacy pill, but rather a step-up to point you in the right direction of happiness. Things are changing for me, gradually, I am finally seeking the right direction in life for me, after five years of wayward shuffling of following decisions that just didn't feel right from the start. And to be fair I am only a few weeks in. Its just sometimes one forgets how far one has come, and then you get an ordinary day, and you think well have I really come far at all. What I need is a reminder of how I felt four weeks ago, to make me realise how great this is, but unfortunately one doesn't have the body gaging map to hand, just my blog. So this is my first little winge, but I don't to keep it up, stiff upper lip and all that Britishness, innit.

Today I had:
2l of Spinach, Parsley and Carrot Juice
1l Pineapple Juice
1l Cucumber, Fennel and Pear Juice
Skin Brushing
1l Water, Lemon and Psyllium

Oh my Days 27

2008-02-12T08:42:00.000-08:00

I have to get this post in super quick as internet connection has been cut am doing the and am doing the Wifi thing in Paris with diminutive power charge in my laptop. Feeling super-good right now, everything in my life is flowing. I feel as if I have a child's enthusiasm for life, so many dreams, aspirations but fortunate enough that the world is my oyster cos I don't have to go to school the next day. I remember how stifling the notion of going to school for what seemed like an eternity as a child. Well, school's out now and I can see now why so many raw kids are home-schooled. Its as if when you open your mind, why would you want to cramp your kids' imaginations with restrictive ideas.

The sun is shining, its almost Spring, almost...I plan to break this fast in April, if the whole ninety-two days feels right, and by then I feel like I could run to some warm tropical climes and treat my body to freshly picked fruit and sunbathing in delicious rays. Oh life is sunny bliss right now. Now where am I going to find the money do all these lovely things that flitter through my mind?

Yesterday I had

1l Pineapple Lemon Juice
2l Celery, Broccoli, Cucumber, Romaine and Raddichio Juice
2l Romaine and Carrot Juice
1l Water with Psylliun
Enema and Skinbrush

Today I had

1l Pineapple and Lemon Juice
1.5l Parsley, Romaine, Celery Juice
800ml Carrot and Romaine Juice
250ml Grapefruit Juice
500ml Pear, Strawberry and Cucumber Juice

NB- Green juices are not appealing to my taste buds right now, they seemed to have lost their magic. All I want is sweeeetness.

Pulse Dropping

2008-02-10T13:50:00.000-08:00

I have a request to fellow juice feasters, out of curiosity. Has your pulse dropped during this feast? Mine is usually round 58-60 range and had dropped to 40! I have checked, double and triple checked this and I can't quite believe it but thats the case. If anyone has some information regarding this I would be very interested to know more.
Following Shell's link, I have been inspired to dip into one of favorite books, Fukuoka's 'One Straw Revolution' - the most enriching and philosophical book on natural farming and living. I find that this link between juice feasting/fasting/raw foods and natural farming methods is very closely linked, through the respect for the way things are best kept simple. Learning to respect the amazing creation that is your body, with all her inherent wisdom expands your vision to the rest of the universe. We are too small to understand everything - knowledge and wisdom is hence so profound in nature that the best we can do is to observe, respect and give thanks for its presence. I also feel a greater connection to nature during this process, whether it be greater awareness of the seasonal shifts in time to a deeper experience of walking in the woods, parks or outdoors. I urge you to read Fukuoka if you have the chance.

http://soilandhealth.org/files/JfLlrucPuX/010140.fukuoka.one.straw.pdf

Today I had:

1l Pineapple and Lemon juice
1l Fennel, Celery, Cucumber, Parsley, Pear Juice
2 Huge shots of Wheatgrass
1l Carrot, Romaine, Mint Juice
1l Mint, Pear, Cucumber, Fennel Juice
1l Fresh Mint Tea with Lemon and Honey
Fantastic Enema and Skin Brush (Thankyou for your post on skin brushing Katrina!)

The Market, Day 25 Cont'd

2008-02-10T00:59:00.000-08:00

Feeling detoxy today, headache, nightmare, bad skin, paleness, moodiness, but the good news is I am starting to see the light from the tress, so to speak. I can see up now, without revealing too much, where my life is going and clearly what I don't want to put up with any more - yes I am not making any compromises here! Things seems as clear as day, I feel completely connected with my desires, aspirations and knowing what is right for me. Enemas are moments of revelation and deep spiritual sensations, and its amazing how much water I can up into me right now, and breath also! I am experiencing great levels of consciousnesses, and feelings of guilt, doubt and negativity that formerly fastened against every decision I made are shedding from my thoughts. I am dealing with a whole backlog of emotional archives that manifest themselves in gorgeous memories of the past and in not so lovely nightmares about dying at night. Feeling great love for my family right now. Today I went to the market and recuperated huuuuge amounts of fresh, organic produce from the end of the market for nothing. Shameless indeed, but I have made such a saving, it feels like the cat that caught the mouse.

Today I had:

1l Lettuce, Parsley, Cucumber, Apple Juice
1l Celeriac, Apple, Celery and Cucumber Juice
100ml Blood Orange Juice
1l Pineapple and Lemon Juice
200ml Apple and Cinnamon Juice
800ml Carrot, Romaine, Apple Juice
1l Cucumber, Lettuce, Fennel and Pear Juice
1l Pure Water w/ Psyllium Husks
An incredible enema, skin brush and bath
Oodles of sleep and relaxation

Photo of Me, Day 24

2008-02-09T07:40:00.000-08:00

Feeling a little detoxy, plagued with the spots all over my face that just won't go. Anyway, thought its about time I post photo of me even my vanity tries to get the better of me. So here's me...I think my eyes are a lot clearer/brighter, and my face is a bit less chubby, so thankfully I don't get confused for a fourteen year old so often. Oh, and there a little blob of green juice in the corner of my mouth - that is totally intentional!

I didn't get to finish my post yesterday as I fell into a coma at around 9pm waking at 6am and thinking I had only had an hour's sleep! Other feelings included rampant horniness, (well my boyfriend very rarely/never reads this!), and lucid daydreaming of friends, families, and many childhood memories of foods and intense smells. Nice but sometimes quite overpowering. Also feeling quite ravenous right now, never too far from my juicer.

Yesterday I had:

2 shots of wheatgrass
1l of Lettuce, Celery, Cucumber, Parsley and Apple Juice
200ml Apple, Kiwi, Lemon Zing
1l Pineapple, Cucumber, Celery Juice
1l Fennel, Pear and Parsley Juice
200ml Grapefruit Juice
1l Pure Water w/Pysllium and Lemon Juice
1l Nettle Tea (about the only wild greens I managed to find!!)
300ml Apple, Ginger and Cinnamon Juice (warmed very slightly)

Presents for Myself

2008-02-08T07:19:00.000-08:00

I am so excited I am about the lovely pressie thay I just bought myself. Hitherto now, I have always seen all that expensive raw food apparatus as well, gimmicks, making do with my cheap but acceptable centrifugal juicer, and a coffee grinder - don't even ask me what to do with a dehydrator! For me its all about simple, natural, raw living. Today, I was shown just what a difference these 'gimmicks' make. I just bought one of those top of the range, um, 'single-auger' juicers. Wow, never have I experienced such an intense, taste sensation from a juice. Apple, kiwi and lemon zinginess imploding on my tongue like a chewy starburst and green juices murking surreptitiouly into my veins, and wheatgrass explosions! I am so excited that I still have another..just over two months of juice. There is nothing quite like it. Then there are all those yummy raw food creation I can make with them post-feast. God bless my juicer! And feeling deeply touched to have found a shop in Paris that sells top-juicers, wheatgrass trays, and specialise in all sorts of live sprouted grains. I mean this is ten-years ahead for Paris. To my surprise at Pousse-Pousse the personnel were genuinely enthused and curious about my juice feast, a refreshing contrast to the fears and frightful ignorance that is often evoked about feasting. I was happy to able to share me experiences openly them without having to bend/adapt the facts accordingly. I would recommend anyone to check it out if they are in Paris. I am off to pick some wild greens now. Later.

Spaced Out (22 Days)

2008-02-06T13:11:00.000-08:00

Today could have been a horrendous day, had I let it. My juicer broke, midway through the first juice of the day leaving only 200ml of pure watercress juice to sustain me for the rest of the day. My boss told me unequivocally and rather aggressively that he is very near to getting rid of my behind -I am a terrible waitress so I do not blame him! I consoled myself in trecking to the other side of Paris, to buy some coconut water to keep me for today and tomorrow until I get my juicer sorted, but alas not ONE single coconut in the whole of China Town due to the festivities! Meanwhile durian was teasing my hungry tummy with her delectable smell, and I could have for a second regretted being on a juice feast. And right now, I feel so high on orange juice and honey, lemon water that I might float up, up, up and away! I am happy, in love and enjoying every minute of this floaty trip. I feel compassion, and pleasure in human connection, and am supping every second of experience that is thrown my way with gratitude and delight. So, if I lose this job, I shall float somewhere further down the river, more beautiful in my little boat. For now, as I calm myself on balancing warm water, lemon juice and ginger, I can take joy in going through all the happenings of my day, then letting go. I received Will Bowen's "A Complaint Free World" today in the post - thankyou Katrina for the tip. So, I shall now be on a non-complaining fast aswell. Its all reminds me that this feast is so much more than correcting eating patterns, it is the occasion for introspection and greater self-knowledge. Spiritual, emotional, physical needs are all interconnected thus when you start to deal with one hinge, the others invariably volunteer themselves for more pressing attention. I am loving being conscious of the whole workings of body and mind, it makes life more lucid when in control of one's apparatus. Carrie spoke of lucid dreams earlier, well has anyone been experiencing lucid daydreams/thoughts? I get memories of yonks back that come to me in clear day, that are so vivid that its as if I am reliving them in whole. I like these very much. I guess everything we experience; present, past and future are all interconnected in our consciousness- even if we think that they ought to belong in a chronological niche - so that all makes sense. Lots of love.

Today I had:
Waaaay too many squeezy oranges and grapefruits, lemons and honey.
A few spoonfuls of spirulina
200 ml of undiluted watercress juice

Preaching and the Light

2008-02-05T13:16:00.000-08:00

I have got this nervous energy inside me, can't quite catch it - as if I might explode in a fit of giggles, or hysterics! I am constantly gratified to see other people on this journey surfing along with commensurate joy. Its affirms that I am skipping along the right path. I feel as if I have tapped into a secret key to joyful living. I want to proclaim to the world the curative benefits of juice feasting. And for all the mental blockages that have prevented me from taking the plunge for long enough it has, so far been an almost effortless ride. I feel clearer, I feel a deeper spiritual purpose and I feel love. This is so obviously how we are meant to feel, the innate enthusiasm we have as children is reignited and rightfully released. I would like to back up Suki in saying that David and Katrina Rainoshek should be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. If everyone felt this much love, well, can you imagine? I walk along the streets of Paris, and there's a few people to whom I would like to offer this special tool; as if to resolve the contentious pushing and shoving in the Paris metro, the sullen faces of the overworked,the sick, pervasive immoral conduct, the depressed and despairing pill poppers. Perhaps I idealise but I am convinced if other people felt this joy, clarity of mind they could invest some positive changes in their lives. Oh to preach this message someday to the French?

Today I had:

2l Celery, Cucumber, Watercress, Parley Ginger, Tomato Juice
1l Pear, Mint, Lettuce Juice
200ml Apple, Cinnamon Juice (thanks Carrie!)
1l Pure Water with Psyllium
200ml Blood Orange Juice
500ml Fresh Mint
Enema, Skin Brush

Waltzing In The Forest (20 days)

2008-02-04T11:51:00.000-08:00

Today's walk did me much good. Feeling really good again. There's something mystical about the therapeutic nature of the forest - it makes me feel vibrant and alive. I think that its something to do with the rich fertility of the forest floor - the foundation of life. I would like to observe the forest through an extended period of time, I think it has so much to teach me as I feel a strong spiritual connection walking through it. Perhaps there's the substance of time whispering through the ancient trees that compounds its authority. Perhaps its the intoxicating smell of fertility that breathes through its dark fertile humus. Maybe the constant balance of life, death and constant renewal, brings alignment to my senses and being. I felt connected to the life and energy of the forest on my walk today. It was a continuous feast to my eyes that gave me a child's joy, unparalleled. I would like to train my mind to be able to recreate this joy and excitement every day of my life, to feel constant grace and thankfulness. Thats how I see this feast, an opening up of life's possibilities, which post-feast, will have provided me with the vision to conceive inspiration and joy as a constant factor in my life. Children are an inspiration to me, they never cease to invent hope and potentiality. So here is to regressing some 92x120 thought days. That would make me minus 8 and a bit!

Today I had

1l Endive, Carrot, Romaine, Chinese Cabbage Juice*
1l Pineapple, Lettuce, Brussel Sprout Juice*
500ml Grapefruit Juice with Spirulina
500ml Fresh Mint Tea
*A bit off with my juice choices today, they tasted..nutritious!
Thats it so far.

Hungover

2008-02-04T01:09:00.000-08:00

I ought to be careful what I wish for! Detox has reared its ugly head, and there are lots of nasties pushing their way out of my body - in fact I can the pitter-patter of their minuscule paws drumming against my head. I feel cloudy, sick and can't quite bear the sight of juice. I think I am going to take it easy on juice today. I have the best hangover plan, six hours hike in the French countryside! Packed some lemon and ginger water and a few oranges (to juice) if I get hungry. Funnily enough I had a feeling this was coming, as if euphoria precedes the doom. Well, I hope to be a little more grounded after I have got through this. Still loving the journey. See you later, Poppy xx

Candy Highs

2008-02-03T05:13:00.000-08:00

Still going strong! Feeling wonderful, sexy, tactile, energetic and 'oooh' am I in seventh heaven! So far, no big downs to speak of yet. I am still waiting for those Downers with bated breath because thats when I know that detox really kicks in, and I am excited about this prospect. But for now my body, mind and inner workings are flowing with grace and ease, and the world seems to be dancing with me. I wanted to get this down quickly lest this feeling should leave me soon, become diluted and be transmitted to you with diminutive energy. The green juices are working the visceral magic though my blood, the sun is shining, blue skies and crisp air. Has anyone else noticed that the weekend climate is always brighter than the weekend? My boyfriend was also aware of this when I mentioned this to him yesterday and has hitherto theorised that on weekends families come together, couple make love and reconnect, and people are relaxed, producing positive thoughts that reflect, determine or prevail in the manifestation of the weather conditions. I like this thought. It affirm what I am reading at the moment that thoughts form the world around us. What hope there is in such a concept, that we are all creators, and every minute we live is vitally significant in the framework of our universe. If we are conscious of this we can surpass moments of inconsideration, or selfishness because they upset the balance dislodging grey clouds that diffuse over the whole world. Gosh, I am sounding preachy today which is strange; I haven't actually been at all in my 'intellect' of late, so I am surprising myself here.
One thing I must say is my body is becoming less used to sugar - I thought I would treat myself to a pear and ginger juice this morning and it sent me rocketing sideways. I am finally enjoying pure unadulterated green juices and can finally affirm with my own conviction that this is where the magic is at for me. Its taken me long enough to LOVE them. So, to loosely quote Angela Stokes, I am moving away from the sweets and feeling like a grown up woman. And did I mention I feel sexy? Not outright horny a la Suki but just happy and sensual in my skin. Sending y'all positive energy, Poppy

Yesterday:
2l Kale, Celery, Lettuce, Parsley, Carrot Juice
500ml Pomelos Juice with 2tsp Spirulina
1l Celery, Lettuce, Courgette, Lemon Pear Juice
200ml Kiwi, Apple Juice
800ml Cucumber, Fennel, Celery Pear Juice
1l Pure Water with Psyllium and Lemon Juice
Skin Brush and Contrast Showers

Today (so far..)
1l Pear, Celery, Lemon Juice (Too much sugar!)
1l Celery, Parley, Spinach, Tomato Juice
...

PS. Just received this from Shazzie: "He who has health, has hope; and he who has hope, has everything". Loving the synchronosity.

Inspired Day 17

2008-02-01T13:35:00.000-08:00

I am a bit lost for words today. Just happy, floating on this journey. Reading other juice blogs and am truly in awe of some of the insight that is being put out there, what incredible mind, hearts and souls coming forward. Is it a coincidence to find so many unique beings embarking on a similar journey? Their words are reflections of my thoughts, as for now I am feeling speechless but connected. I feel as if I have tapped into something secret and sublime, and to be sharing this with open hearted, generous individuals, well again, I am speechless. Today was fluid, am flowing in sync with the world, which feels so effortless. I love days like today. I feel bursting with excitement, I want to go deeper and deeper into this journey, I am looking forward to 'dancing' through all the phases of healing, and embracing new sensations, detachment and new-found perceptions. For the first time, my enemas are starting to dislodge some old matter and I feel like I am tapping into some deeper layers now. It feels good. Thankful, Poppy

Today I had:
2l Fennel, Cucumber Pear, Parsley Juice
500ml Blood Orange Juice and Spirulina
1l Carrot, Broccoli, Kale Juice
1l Pure Water with Lemon and 2tsp Psyllium Husks
Two Oranges, chewed without swallowing the fibre

Floods of Emotions

2008-01-31T15:03:00.000-08:00

Today I lost my temper. Funny how one little outburst can eclipse for a moment all good intentions and self-righteousness - re: yesterday's post. This juice feasting sometimes gives me an amazing surge of confidence, newfound strength that I feel like I can take anything on. Letting go of my defenses, I permit myself to take on the world bare-knuckled, horns locked and engaged with the enemy. Its tough out there, people can be very irresponsible with their emotions, but for one minute today I thought I can take this, and even turn it around. Its an exercise I am trying to practise at the moment; taking negative thoughts and turning them around to their best advantage. Alas, I realise that in confronting certain energies, you further emphasise and accentuate their presence. Today, I ought to have let go of some aggression that I received, allowing it to disperse in its trajectory. But, willfully I took it on the chin, and decided to go with it. It felt like I had just swallowed poison, I couldn't get this event out of my head and the world suddenly turned grey. From then on for the rest of the day, everything went wrong and I felt like the whole world had turned against me. I finally erupted with an implosive bitches tantrum much to the displeasure of my poor chap - I just had to let it out! I realise now that I was unconsciously dealing with some issues. This is why the world seemed so grey; it was only reflecting back some of my own insecurities. Funnily enough, this morning I felt euphoric, on top and yet I think simulaneously there were some shifts going on underneath the surface that I was not so conscious of. Thus with that one little tantrum, I suddenly deblocked a whole host of feelings that came flooding out later as I did an enema. And I saw a few pertinent issues becoming lucid before my eyes as I took water deeper into my colon. I noted them and then let go of them and the accompanying feelings of guilt. It was incredible, can I say spiritual? I felt gratitude for these tumultuous emotions, and I let go of them in exchange for further insight and clarity. I feel clearer now, and a new wave of joy. I can breathe deeper, my skin is glowing, and I feel lighter and more energetic. The joy of shedding layers. Its 5am, and am still wide awake. Oops!

Today I had:

Enema and Skin Brushing
2l Romaine and Carrot Juice (It does really taste like choc milk! How's that?)
0.5l Grapefruit Juice
1l Celery, Cucumber, Parsley, Apple Juice
500ml Peppermint Tea
200ml Lemon, Honey (naughty), Cinnamon Water
1l Pure Water with Psyllium

Parisian Temptation

2008-01-30T10:23:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was difficult so I did not post. I feel that I started with such an airy prelude of proclaiming the joys of juice feasting that I might have overridden the difficulties of this process. I now notice that I was very centred about the physical aspects of this feast that I forgot what I now realise to be a defining aspect of this feast; awareness and control of the mind. Suki left a beautiful quote..."if you’ve lost all will & control, they come back when you fast, like soldiers appearing out of the ground, pennants flying above them" , which now seems very pertinent to me. I love how reading other people's blogs connects with your ideas at a particular moment, or gently dislodges an idea in your head that may later fully emerge. I love writing blogs because I start to understand my thought process better, to filter out the positive aspects of my thoughts, and in turn a lesson in controlling my thoughts.

Yesterday, I repeat was a very difficult day. I didn't have time to take any juice with me to work and, by the end of the afternoon I had driven myself into a mental frenzy of self-doubt and was out of control. Paris is a veritable labyrinth of three-dimensional food pornography and I had such a problem walking from work to the metro bearing the begrudging complaints of my empty stomach while Paris-Brest's seemed to be performing Burlesque stipteases before my very eyes. I came home, drank copious green juice and gave myself an enema, going to bed pale, nauseous and self-pitiful. For one, I am happy that yesterday I might just have experienced a degree of my first detox crisis - these I behold with the anticipation of an 11 year old awaiting her first period. But moreover I feel glad to have got through the emotional hardship of yesterday because that was the challenge I really needed. The temptations of the mind, through habit or through defensive mechanisms are the hardest to overcome. I believe that when you can control doubt and negativity and turn these into positive thoughts, you can gain great compassion and love for humanity. More than that, you can allow others to love you back and show people a deeper way of connecting together, not working against each other. I read recently that in Tibetan religion, the world is simply composed of thoughts, learning to control, and transforming the message that you give out can have a huge impact on fellow beings. So, while this feast itself is in itself a dietary exercise through the privation of solids, it is much more, allowing my mind to sift through blockages, dealing with attachment to food, comfort zones, self-doubts, and a whole of emotional layers that were converged in my mind. My dreams seems to be vividly covering and blasting through mounds of lost happenings and right now I feel very raw. I think the euphoria that occurs later in the fast is the freedom that emerges from the success of overcoming failings, weaknesses and basically confronting the demons. This is motivated by the inner strength that reveals itself on the difficult days and gains momentum the further you go into your blockages. There is no doubt a physical aspect, and I see the colon and mind are conjoined but I choose not to focus on this aspect, because I want to focus on my thoughts for now. Neeta showed me a wonderful example of this strength the other day, and I have no doubt that I will begin to grow in strength as the feast begins. I am grateful to have had to deal with yesterdays predicament because its only through the struggles that you gain full awareness of what you need to overcome. And I feel there's so far to go, I am glad still to be hanging on in there.

Blessings,

Poppy

Yesterday I had:
2l Lettuce, Parsley, Celery, Apple Lemon Juice (Brrrr..)
1l Pure Water with Psyllium and Lemon Juice
500ml Peppermint Tea
Enema and Skin Brush

Today I had:
1l Tomato, Celery, Cucumber, Parsley
1l Apple, Celery, Cucumber Juice
1l Pineapple, Cucumber Juice
1l Carrot, Parsley, Celery Juice
1l Pure Water with Lemon Juice and MSM
1l Peppermint Tea

Feasting in Winter

2008-01-28T09:40:00.000-08:00

One of the reasons I started this feast was that I was becoming a little resigned, even bored of eating raw foods in winter that I was making bad food choices, which in turn was leading to depression. I have never been into complex raw preparations, as they leave me feeling sluggish and I also have quibbles about eating out of season that I was feeling pretty restricted about the variety of raw foods winter had to offer. Incidentally I am more and more convinced that the raw diet is better suited to the tropics or warmer climates. I concluded that juicing would bring me back to, and focus my mind on the essential.

Throughout this feast I have tried as much as possible to get my produce locally from my 'maraicher' in my local market. But I can't keep away from the pineapples, fresh coconuts and what have you in the exotic supermarkets to add a little 'treat' to my day in terms of juice. My routine combinations of lettuce, parsley, kale, celery, apples and pears verge on the realms of deprivation unless I allow myself to throw in a bunch of pineapples, grapefruits, oranges, and as of today..tomatoes! I have never, until now bought a tomato in mid-winter but today I just felt like I had, had to have a tomato gazpacho type juice! It may well be the sunshine peeking through the clouds that is confusing my mind. One of the big dilemmas for me has always been raw vegan and buying locally and in season. I once read that Tibetan monks eat meat due to the lack of local produce availale in the Himalayan mountains - now that was a shock to the system!

My mind is actively drifting to the time where I will be able to live freely in 'nature', in sunny climes where fruit grows abundantly. For now, I have to, for want of repeating my mantra, enjoy the present and be grateful for where I am right now. And I will stop beating myself up about the occasional exotic fruit - its all about little steps. And I enjoy the fact that I shall be breaking this fast in Spring; sunshine, and water-rich abundant produce! And here my mind transgresses once again! Is anyone else experiencing such excitement of the imagination? Dormant pleasure are awaking and I am suddenly excited about doing so many things that my mind can not stay still for one moment. And my dreams, well I won't even go there! Now, where am I going to focus all this energy into??

Today I had:

1l orange juice
1l tomato, celery, garlic, ginger, parsley cucumber juice (sublime!)
0.8l fennel, celery, pear juice
0.8l romaine, apple, beetroot juice
0.5l pure water with psyllium husks

Feasting and Fukuoka

2008-01-27T12:27:00.001-08:00

It can be a little daunting to think that I have made a 'commitment' to this feast for a period of 92 days. Despite knowing that it is better situate myself in the centre of the experience and enjoy its duration, my mind cannot help creeping forward in premature anticipation of the 'break'. Memories of ending previous feasts, with all the intensity of smell and taste and passion infuse my thoughts with delight. 92 days equates one whole season and feels at this moment of time, far. Yet, I am eleven days in already, and quite honestly, it has passed like a single drop of rain. It feels now, like I am swimming the sea. Peering from the shore, the ocean seems so vast, and yet when I look back, what seems like a second later, I am far from the shore, bathing in deep waters and its a very long way back. Solid food, now seems a little strange, almost alien to me. The reflex of just putting something straight in my mouth, without questioning for a slight hankering of what I think will give me pleasure and silence my mind, is now replaced by deep thought and consideration for my body's needs. Right now, trying to understand more deeply the connection between food and my state of being. I learn that kale/lettuce juices calm and balance, kiwis bring me a burst of energy, oranges bring me warmth (albeit sunshine), and cucumber is very cleansing. It is wonderful to simplify things to such a level that you really have the time to meditate on your thoughts, feelings, reactions. I have a great desire to understand why I react in certain ways, excitement, fears, sadness. To learn to work with my body and not against it. It reminds me of Masanobu Fukuoka who developed a natural farming method that insisted that nature thrived best through effectively being 'left alone', no pesticides, no drastic pruning, no weeding, no tilling, no machinery, in other words, nature knows best. For many years he just observed his father's orchards and came to the conclusion that ''If we allow it to be completely free, a perfect nature will come back.''And through his natural farming methods, his gardens thrived naturally to great disbelief in the scientific world. Nature is a great metaphor for me, I think we can learn a lot through connecting with her intricate web. I feel like I am honoring my body, by giving her a chance to reinvigorate, rest, and repair. I feel that my fears about the length of this journey can be subdued my instilling once again this faith that my body knows best. Just enjoying breathing air, stimulating the visual senses with beautiful walks in nature, hydrating the body, and aligning the mind. Peacefulness and pure joy.

Today:
Enema and Skin Brush
Psyllium Husks and Water
1.5l Kale, Ginger and Apple Juice
1.5l Cucumber, Pear Juice (Delicious!)
0.5l Orange Juice with Sea Greens
1 x Green Thai Coconut Water
0.3l Peppermint Tea
0.3 Lemon and Ginger Water

Freedom Thoughts

2008-01-26T10:25:00.000-08:00

I received these beautiful words from Shazzie today: Jack Kerouac knew... "When a baby is born, he goes to sleep and dreams the dream of life. When he dies and is buried in his grave he awakens to Eternal Ecstasy. And when all is said and done, nothing matters." Just wonderful words to match my mood. Freedom from fear opens you up to the magical mystery of life. I think every day should be questioning your fears or instilled ideas to open yourself to life, living openly with appreciation and gratitude for each kaleidoscopic second that life performs in front of your eyes. Observation is a deep prayer, taking in the joys of life. I enjoy the sharpness of my senses on the feast. Smell, them most primordial of senses becomes clearer. My perception of the world around me becomes more acute - I feel much more aware of the details that seem so often to pass over my head, the beauty of joggers exhaling the dewy morning air, the rustle of wind through the trees, children (they are so much more beautiful) and clear-blue sunlit skies that open up the crisp air of fine January days. I sat in the Luxembourg gardens today sipping my mood enhancing green juice watching 'Bourgeois-Boheme' Parisians walking, cheeks healthy and rosy from respiring the fresh air and the world seems like a very pleasant place to be. Its funny, when I am in this state, it seems so irrefutable that ever day should be felt with the same immeasurable joy. Why I don't seem to be able to sustain this is so far a mystery, but I am working on it. I feel juicing allows me to sustain these feelings of clarity. I really want to put my energy into finding this, during and prior to the feast. Its the most important goal for me. Music seems to be swimming around my head a lot right now, I have tunes coming up in my mind just like that, and so much that I listen is touching my soul and making be happy. Memories become vivid, as do dreams, and I can feel something that has been lodged in me for a while, arise and leave, just like a dream. Why one thought or another arises is a mystery, but it comes to me for a reason and then departs, just like a dream.

Today:
Skin Brush
1.5l kale, lettuce, parsley, cucumber lemon juice
800ml apple, celery juice
1l pinapple apple juice
2 x fresh coconut water
1l pure water
500ml anise, cinnamon, cardamom, fennel infused warm water

Finding Tracks, Days 9+10

2008-01-25T11:40:00.000-08:00

I really am starting to find the juice feasting to become second nature. Its so liberating to be free of solid food, to know that I can function optimally on liquid; its just another deconstruction of an instilled fact that frees my perception of what I am truly capable of. If I can go without solids for a period of time, what else can I do? I love sipping on my green juices in the morning, they feel so empowering - like magic liquid. It feels wonderful to be putting strength and nutrients in my body. Its funny how my body temperature changes as I drink the green juices, as does my mood: much calmer. I feel in sync, for lack of a better expression, with the world. I love that more and more people are starting to juice feast; to share the experience together. Such positivity can only reach out towards more people, and it will become more powerful in its message as more and more people experience and learn from the experience. I remember that Arnold Ehret experimented with the powers of fasting a century ago, and I feel that the irrefutable truth in this method of cleansing and natural living can receive its rightful output through the internet and the human documenting of blogs. I look forward to seeing how the global juice feast affects things. Expecting global shifts in universal energy...

Today:
skin brushing enema
1600ml kale, lettuce, parsley and celery juice
800ml carrot, celery, kiwi, apple juice
800ml pineapple juice
1l pure water

Dreaming

2008-01-23T10:47:00.000-08:00

I have always noticed my dreams become more vivid when I do a juice fast. And I have a recurring nightmare about breaking the fast with terrible foods that I wake up in a quite a state, feelings of terrible regret still steaming at the surface, consoling myself that its just a dream, and how great it is that I am still on the fast. Last night I dreamt that I broke the fast with meat(!?) but the feeling of joy when I realised it was just a dream was such to sustain my motivation all of today. I really am happy to be feasting and am enjoying the daily observation of my body working. Today lots of questions and old emotions coming through. I enjoy the greater clarity further on in the fast to deal with these so easily. For now, I am just watching these thoughts surface and putting them to one side. Stomach is a little bloated too, going easy on the honey, and started with some psyllium husks. Energy levels are up, sleep is so fluid and enjoying connecting with an old friend on the telephone - feeling love vibes. Also, the green juices are becoming so much less challenging, what a feat! I am curious to see if I will actually start to look forward to them, or even favour them over fruit combos later on! Well thats me.

Today I had

1.6l lettuce, celery, cucumber juice
0.8l pineapple, lettuce, celery juice
0.8l lettuce, parsley, apple juice
0.8l water, cloves, lemon, psyllium
skin brushing, hot/cold showers

Green Juices, Day

2008-01-22T10:54:00.000-08:00

Strange to blog about my juice feasting experience on a daily basis, rather I feel it should be almost hourly posts, time permitting. That is to say that the feeling I have for this fast are so fluctuating, that if I am not quick to note them down, on comes another emotion or feeling to eclipse the last. Started the day amazingly, feeling as if I was really getting in to the swung of this. Up at 7am to go to the market, back at 8, made my juices, and back out the house at 9 to go to work, sipping on a hardcore green juice and ever so proud of myself. The green juices make me feel so calm, that I wasn't even caring about the strange looks I was getting from the Parisian commuters at the sight of me with a large green kilner jar in my hand and the resulting green juice moustache effect. Felt so energetic at work and seriously felt enthused to get some exercise in, now the energy levels are back up after the first few days adjusting. Then on the way home, desire to just eat a big salad kicks in. I started to question my reason for doing this, telling myself that raw should be enough. Then I got home and saw my rosy complexion in the mirror, checked some other juice blogs and felt happy again about the process. I think I really need to be doing more exercise and kicking the honey in my lemon water combo cos the sugar just hits me, and destabilises my mood. But definitely feeling great, positive, and open. Looking very forward to the progression, can't wait for the real healing processes to begin working. Maybe a bit of exercise and another enema will speed it up a bit.

Juices:

800 ml Lettuce, Celery, Cucumber, Parsey Combo - Hard to take but really calming
800ml Carrot, Celery, Apple, Ginger
800 ml Water, Honey, Ginger, Cloves
800ml Pear Juice
800ml Pineapple, Cucumber, Celery

Juice Feast Intro, Day 6

2008-01-21T09:39:00.000-08:00

Its day 6 of my juice feast, and finding so much support from the other feaster blogs has been an inspiration to start my own blog. Today I realised that its good to connect with other people, it provides a support and purpose. I hope to share my journey to inspire other people and to track my own progress in a public format. So far, I am feeling great excitement about going deep into a healing process, discovering how my own body works, and developing positivity and energy that I can use in positive ways. It already feels like the layers are stripping down, I feel great clarity but also a deeper awareness and sensitivity. This can be hard in a busy city environment, Paris to feel so vulnerable to the noise around you. Simultaneously, it affirms for me why dependence to food, alcohol, media, are so prevalent because they block your awareness and sensitivity of the world around you. When i first went raw after juice feasting for 40 days it was a wonderful discovery to feel life so much more intensely, I felt connected and open to my emotions and great compassion for people. When I asked a friend why he stopped eating 100% raw after twenty years, he responded that it is hard to stay raw when life is difficult. I now understand what he meant, that raw living breaks down so many defensive layers, that it can become a very difficult journey to face a less than perfect world in this state. Easier to block it out, as does a huge proportion of our society drink and take drugs. Food, for me exists on a similar level. Our temptation to eat things that we know our not good for us, is like getting drunk on food in the numbing sensation it provokes, otherwise stated, comfort food. I feel that the more people eating raw, feasting, and cleansing, the stronger a community of healthy beings we can become, and the stronger a society of 'functioning' people we will be. Thus the more positive energy we will have can be used to develop and grow collaboratively as a community, in health and in connection with nature(because going against nature only causes harm). Anyway, back to the juice feast. Today I had:

1/4 litre of lemon juice, honey, ginger water
800ml lettuce, parsley, pear, cucumber, lemon juice
800ml pineapple, celery juice
800ml carrot, cucumber, apple juice
1/4 litre lemon juice, honey, ginger tea
skin brushing, enema

Starting to feel positive about the future, feels so right juice feasting. Skin is definitely clearer after 6 days, though am a bit on edge emotionally. Releasing lots of mucus, better out than in, and feel great faith in my body to clease and release all the crap inside it. Loving feeling that I am in a process of change and that I am doing something wonderful for myself.

Love,
Poppy