Better Days...45

Yuk, don't feel on top form right now. Juice is just...ooh-eee and the idea of green juice feels so wrong! Am eliminating a helluvalot, so I think maybe this is just a detox phase. Still forcing the juice down, though I think my body is asking for a rest. Wanting to get through this phase, and back on top.

Today I had:

1l Orange and Lemon Juice
1l Chard, Broccoli, Fennel, Garlic(!), Celery Juice
1l Pineapple, Celery Juice with Psyllium Husks
0.5l Beetroot, Red Pepper, Carrot and Apple Juice ( I am sipping on this right now but I think some of this is going to have to feed the weeds in my garden.)

Love, Poppy

Discipline, Day 43

Discipline and focus are the themes that seem to be reverberating through manifold aspects of my days at present. It seems fair enough considering that I may be retracing back to childhood; and in addition children seem to be attracting my attention with renewed enthusiasm - I am gaga for kids at the moment.

My mind has been wandering on all sorts of tangents of late, most notably food cravings, boredom and general mind wanderings that are all lovely and fine but that stray from the very fact that my life exists right here, right now. I find that I can be so focused on one thing that it appears to be consume me, but really thoughts can be shifted, and the thing that in one moment enthuses my attention so strenuously is like a ball that can be deflated to occupy less space and give way to other thoughts. I have ultimate control of my thoughts, when I think that all I want to do is eat food, travel far, avoid work - all I have to do is switch my focus back to the now and meditate on the curiosities that ensue from the fulfillment of what I am doing.

I have always had problems with discipline, I have an inherent stubbornness, that adversely pursues the opposite direction of what she is told to do, just because I am being told. Such often prevents me from being open to new ideas and directions, unless I feel that they have come from me. Yet I find that authoritative instruction often conceals people's own frustrations at not being able to do what they want to do; or is even used as a pass the parcel for people's negative energy. Sometime people need to vent, and in order to do so they take on a paternal, "I am annoyed because you are not doing what I tell you to do" tone, but really they are annoyed because they have received some negative energy from somebody else, who has subsequently received their own from somebody else and so forth. I am trying to understand to break that chain of negative energy, through love. It is quite a work upon reflex habit. It had been a lifelong tendency, to transfer one person's aggression to another person - in childhood I would transmit my parent's scoldings to my twin brother, and he would probably transmit that onto his school friends, or his Luke Skywalker man. And in the real world , when I receive anger in this form, it stings, and those stings make it hard for me to disperse it and furthermore, to give love back. But shouting at somebody is a way of asking for love, healing - perverse as it may be, and it would only make it worse to shout back. I am on top of the world right now, with so much love to give. Is it possible to sustain this? Sometimes somebody's anger can suddenly burst this bubble, and make me question whether or not I was just dreaming happiness. Personal change is such a fine line, you cross it but it is so easy to come back to square one - negativity. And in that state of mind, you have to climb a hill to come back on yourself. It is a persistent quest, I am not sure that there is a plateau of constant positivity but I am sure it gets easier with habit and self-instilled discipline. I think strongly about raising my future kids with in a more free-thinking approach, to think and discover truth for themselves without the intervention of fear tactics. I believe that self-discipline is important to instill, but that there must be a more loving, non-authoritative way to do so. I would love to hear any suggestions...Off to frolick now in the forest with Mother Nature. Love and Light.

Yesterday I had

2l Water with MSM and Psyllium
1.5l Pineapple, Parsley and Celery Juice
1l Parsley, Fennel, Beetroot and Pear Juice
1l Orange Juice
500ml Grapefruit and Celery Juice
Turkish Baths and Skin Brush

Passing the Parcel, Day 42

Do the layers ever stop unravelling? Its like playing pass the parcel with a cheating parcel that has no end. Where's this hidden, naked me, or am I just a constantly unravelling paper sheets that reproduce at the same rate as those unwrapped. Just as I think I am coming into my own, striding in my pace, whoosh comes another layer of cleansing that twirls my head back around, fiddles my direction, and reveals a whole new variety of the mucky stuff from inside. I know its been said often but I shall repeat the again juice feasting mantra...Where does it all come from? Does one ever stop shitting? I thought I was pretty clean. And I am so up and down right now and constantly wavering in direction - I would love for the scales to finally fan out into an even equilibrium. Don't get me wrong, I am still loving this journey to the full and I feel undeniably wonderful! But I would dearly love a few days' steadiness, predictability and relaxation. Plus I am so high right now, I can't get to sleep until very late, and its a full-time job keeping the crazy hyperactive kid in me occupied all the time. Sigh. Love...

Today I had:
1l of Pineapple and Cucumber Juice with Hemp Oil
2l of Spring Greens, Beetroot, Celery, Parsley, Broccoli and Carrot Juice
2l Pure Water with 2tsp of MSM
2 tsp Bee Pollen
Enema

Day Amendment

I have just realised that I am completely out of keel on my day numbering. Today is actually Day 42 not Day 40! I am not quite sure how that happened but, two days slipped into a mysterious hatch somewhere along the way. Thanks to the lovely Juicy Ben, always two days ahead of me; making me realise something was up when he raced four days in front of me. Oh well, Happy 42 Days to me today then - I have never been one for feast days anyway. Love to you. xx

Love Community, Day 39

I am loving the global juice feast countdown excitement. I am loving the online raw community at Give it to me Raw. I am loving the London spots where raw foodist meet; Inspiral Lounge, VitaOrganic, Bonnington Cafe.. Its astounding to see such an established community of loving bods connecting, sharing and believing in the revolution of healthful living. It is no surprise that each of these people radiate kindness and love. I really hope this message grows stronger, connecting more people, and bringing in more love. For me this is all so novel. Raw food was a personal journey for over a year, I didn't share my experiences with anyone else following the same path. I was a little apprehensive to tell my friends and family and even my colonic hydrotherapist didn't really get it. Now this blog has given me the impetus to reach out to others and it is wonderful. Voila, my speech for the day. I feel like I am broaching new levels energy and renewal; though I am quite restless and need to find a constructive target for all this. I am coming into a whole new phase in this feast. Day 40 tomorrow, happy feast day to me...

Today I had,

3l Spring Greens, Parsley, Lettuce, Broccoli and Apple Juice
1l Carrot and Ginger Juice
1l Orange, Lemon and Ginger Water with MSM
Enema, Skin Brush Contrast Showers

Bounce

Boing...boing...boing. Thats how yesterday was, like two powerful little springs were attached to the undersides of my feet and I could be thrown high up into the clouds. But coming down with my my party-pooper pal, Gravity felt a little dull. Then up then down, and so on. I am trying to go a bit easy on the sugar consumption because it really affects me, and though I do love the super highs, coming down ain't so fly. And as it stands, even on a wonderfully virtuous juice feast there are still a few faux-pas whose consequences can't simply be dismissed as detox. Thats what I find so crazy, the more 'virtuous' one becomes the more sensitive one is. I was often teased my my other half about the preciousness of my diet, and my preoccupation with having a 'clean' colon. Unfortunately he is right! The healthier I become, the more aware. So sugar is not doing it for me right now, and just green juice gives me the shivers. What a rut! But there is some lovely detox happening right now in the enema department, I am pleased to announce! These sessions are becoming all-together richer - the process is less pleasurable but the results are very satisfactory!

Yesterday I had:

1l Orange and Grapefruit Juice
1l Green Juice: Kale, Spinach, Romaine, Broccoli and Parsley
1l Carrot and Celery Juice
1l Apple and Romain Juice
1l Lemon and Ginger Water with MSM
2tsp Bee Pollen
1tsp Psyllium Plus
Enema, Skin Brush and Contrast Shower

Boundless Possibilities

Yesterday didn't get a post - I was out dancing like a banshee, hopping from one club to another until the early dawn. I like to call it the juice feast dance! I have never had so much energy in my whole life! And joy, I am positively floating on love. And of course, what you give, the Universe always gives back - love is everywhere, in every object, in every being, in every particle; there's goodness. I am learning some wonderful lessons right now, and the possibilities seem endless. It reminds me of being in love, when you feel a connection in a relationship that has no end, bound with both apprehensive and blissful abandonment, standing on the cusp of infinite hope - that is more or less a mirror of my life here and now. I think there is a link between romantic love and spiritual love, that when two people understand that all beings and objects are connected through love, they can truly conceive the path of love between themselves, a to-and-fro of energy transmitted that connects you to the Universe. Love is just tapping a little deeper into the stone to reveal a mystical, abundant flow of light. I feel that we think too much of love ensuing from the conditions that we create. I believe that love flows from love. Thats why I liked Katrina's post about finding your dream partner by sending love to him/her, before you have even met her. Sending love into the Universe creates the right conditions to receive, and so does Juice Feasting! So who is ready for the Global Juice Feast? I am so excited about being back in London for this. There is a 'real' community of feasters and raw fooders that I had never tapped into before. Do you see what I mean about endless possibilities? Once you unravel the layers...Love.

Today I had
1l Blood Orange/Lemon Juice with MSM and Hemp Oil
1l Chard, Beetroot and Carrot Juice
1l Pear, Fennel and Romaine Juice
1l Carrot, Broccoli, Celery Juice
1l Lemon Water with Psyllium Plus
1tsp bee pollen and a 1 tbsp honey...
One amazing but scary 4l Enema - I thought I was going to be sick) but the release..whoooosh!
Bathing at the Turkish Baths..(bliss)

Come Into Knowledge

My theme tune today has been Ramp's "Come into Knowledge", and such has been the theme of my day. I am loving the resources available in London, so many magazines, books available on many different subjects. I have been reading mostly about Permaculture and methods of sustainable living, raw foods, relationships and love. Life seems so pregnant with possibilities once you start to uncover the layers in this vast field of understanding; living joyfully and in harmony with the nature, with compassion for all, with truth in one's heart. I feel that I am growing into the person that I was supposed to inhabit, I know an feel completely what is right for me. Recently I made a decision to come out of a relationship based on a sudden feeling of heart, and for the past few days I have found it very hard to truly accept that decision. Now I know with true understanding that the inspiration that is coming to me right now in my life are heart choices founded in perfect alignment with where I want to go in my life. I am driving my life towards health and fulfillment and I can only be thankful for the extraordinary direction in which this journey is taking me. I feel real purpose right now, essentially one of the keys to happiness, knowing that there's a little corner for you on this Earth to act, create and contribute. In Joy...

Today I had

1l Orange, Lemon and Grapefruit Juice with Hemp Oil
1l Romaine, Celery, Purple Sprouting Broccoli and Carrot Juice
1l Lettuce, Celery, Apple and Beetroot Juice
1l Cucumber, Grapefruit and Mint Juice
1l Lemon, Honey an MSM Water
1l Pure Water
2 tsp Bee Pollen
Enema, Skin Brush, Hot and Cold Showers.

Detoxing with headaches, ear wax, runny nose, chills...the works! But lots of energy!

Music of My Mind

Today, walking through London to the sounds of Eddie Kendricks' "Date With The Rain" aroused so much joy from within. For the past month songs have been popping into my mind from out of nowhere, performing a soundtrack that sings inside of me, rustling up lovely emotions from within. Music fills London's vastness with colour and depth, and people take on a whole new life - strangers become lively characters all connected in the same play, and I feel an unprecedented connection and compassion with all around. Music is joy, a connecting force, that joins people providing spiritual transcendence. Music is a ritual for the masses, to reach higher levels of union. Nightclubs have often invoked a spiritual union for me - the persistent rhythm of the beat, the connecting force to which people excite harmony in the dance, that gorgeous synchronisity of movement. Is anyone else on this journey feeling the wonders of music resonating with greater force? I am just touched by it right now. Speaking the other night with a friend about the concept of composing a spiritual form of music, we concluded that music is, inherently this; as it signifies hope. Its abstract nature creates a field in which we can project our feelings, its melody elevates our mood, its rhythm is a life force. Singing is a prayer, taking breath deep into your lungs an exhaling an image of one's inner-soul. Dancing is to rejoice. I am relishing right now this extraordinary truth. Happiness, sadness and all feelings are combined in the extensive field of emotion that music encompasses. I have decided that I am going to reconnect with my love of music this week and take myself to a lovely club where everyone just loves to dance; with joy and verve. In Joy, Poppy x

Today I had:

1l Orange, Lemon and MSM Juice
1l Butternut Squash, Carrot, Yellow Pepper and Paprika Juice
1l Romaine,Celery, Carrot and Beetroot Juice
300ml Carrot and Purple Sprouting Broccoli Juice
1l Lemon Water with Psyllium Husks
300ml Apple, Cucumber and Kiwi Juice
1l Pure Water
1tbsp Bee Pollen

Hurray, I am back on track today with avid enthusiasm for the love of juice!

Fear, Day 34

Thank you all for your kind, supportive comments. I am going through the motions today but I think that is perfectly healthy and am sure that I will be embracing my daily blessings soon. I find that coming out of a relationship throws up a detox that is totally equatable with juice feasting. One moment you are fine, the next you are pouring out something that you didn't even know you had inside you! Why do I find it so difficult? I think I have an inbuilt fear of suffering, that prevents me from allowing myself to go through the motions. The slightest inkling of pain an I am reaching out mentally for a cure; food, picking up the phone an reconciling with the man concerned, running away...I was trying so hard to block out the emotions, that I even considered breaking the feast as if that would make things more 'comfortable' for me. My relationship with food has always been based on blocking out feelings, an excess of sadness, trepidation, even joy and I would turn to food to sober me. That is why I mean to continue because these challenges are allowing me to confront my comfort zones and build my strength. I believe I might have stayed in a relationship that didn't work because I was scared of the reality of reconstructing my life alone. Fear prevented me from taking my life in my hands and following my heart. Today without warning I broke out into tears, it felt so good to feel the pain running through me and finding release. I learnt right then to allow things to pass their rightful channels and not to be scared of the suffering, because thats the only way to get them out. So here's to letting those waters to run clear.

Today I had
250ml Orange Juice
250ml Grapefruit Juice
1l Water, Lemon, Honey, Psyllium and MSM

Well, still not doing very well...I mean to go and get an adaptor so I can plug in my juicer to a English power socket and then I will try to get as much as I can of my daily intake in this evening. Ironically the past few days of citrus juicing and minimal juice intake has really been cleansing for me, and I am eliminating a huge amount from my colon.

Photo Day 33!

Today started with this photo and positive thoughts of positive change. An unawaited but not totally unexpected decision has been made and I am now sitting in a cyber cafe in Paris, waiting for a coach that will take me back to London tonight. Thats where my life seems to be taking me right now. I have decided to move away from a long-term relationship, calmly and will now be making some hugely decisive choices in my life. I feel positive about the forthcoming change and empowered to make the most of my choices, yet I will be leaving a precious moment of the past few years behind me. I have encoutered a beautiful angel in my life, but in many ways things were not right for us. I feel that its right to acknowledge the sadness that comes with letting go but I will not dwell in it; I am going to use all the power of this momentous moment to carry my life where I truly want to go. The next few weeks will be challenging in terms of juicing and resettling, London is a very expensive place to live; but I hope to carry on with this journey. I am now free to fulfil many dreams that hitherto now were not possible to pursue, and I am grateful to have the calm of mind and conviction of my choice. Love and Light, Poppy x

Today:
250ml Lemon Water
1l Spinach and Apple Juice
1l Orange Juice
Thats it unfortunately due to the circumstances. Back on track tomorrow.

Reeling Through My Mind

For 32 days, I have been quietly observing the film of my life story unraveling before my eyes. Memories appear at the strangest of moments; in the queue at the supermarket, sitting on a bus, in the throes of lovemaking (very frequently!), whilst reading a book -the most random of moments embedded in my past are, for a moment in relived in their entirety, and with gusto. These are never bad memories, they often bring me closer to my family or a moment of pleasure that I project into future plans. I think about going back to that beach in Barcelona, sending some love to my brother in London to correct an argument we had as kids, hugging my mum for that meal she once prepared. But it is so strange to experience the vigor of an experience that dates over a decade with the vigor of sensation that I can actually taste certain foods in my mouth, smell salty sea water on the balcony of our childhood holiday flat, relive the melancholy of teenage years, as if tapping into the hidden pockets of my recollection. I am not suggesting that Juice Feasting has given me the superpowers of an upgraded hard drive but that memories are indeed never forgotten but entwined into every moment that we live and emerge in the cleansing process to re-establish a balance in our goals, dreams and general disposition in life. I am learning huge appreciation for many things, and feeling connected to the Universe, to know that everything is here for a reason, and to learn from every moment. And conversely in reminiscing; painful hardships no longer invoke suffering. I look over them with such fondness of moments that have both formed me and become a part of who I am today. I really am enjoying this precious journey of introspection, veritably feeling truth and understanding it for the first time. Only if one really feels deep love and compassion, can you show people with true certainty that it is possible to find balance and realignement in the Universe. I am grateful to actually be living these lessons rather than reading them because things seems to resonating with much greater clarity.
On a more material note, I am experiencing and a little pain in my lower back (possible the kidneys?). Hoping that I have some good detoxing going on. Spots are almost gone and my skin is glowing (with joy), and I am feeling physically radiant and sexy.

Today I Had:

1l Fennel, Lettuce, Pear Juice
1l Vegetable Broth
1l Pineapple Juice
1l Parsley, Romaine, Celery and Apple Juice
250ml Carrot Juice

I have not been getting the full quart of juices into my daily intake these past couple of days since I have not been as physically active as usual and have not felt any desire to force myself. Will be back on track tomorrow!

Gentle Stroll, Day 31

I love these moments, sitting down at night, sipping on tea and reflecting - it feels wonderful to extrapolate on the grace of each day. Its been thirty-one days of juiciness and I couldn't even contemplate eating right now. Well, to be honest I think about food with redolent affection quite often. But to be clear, I couldn't quite physically contemplate eating it - its evocation is more a reflection of fond memories passed to observe and then let go. I find that with the upsurge of many emotions through this process, many food-associated experiences emerge simultaneously. I often used food to deal with emotions thus it is logical that such a combination of thought should emerge in association. Its funny to have attained thirty-one days and for it to feel so easy. I think it is partly to do with the quantity and quality of juice I am consuming on this program compared to previous 'juice-fasts'. However I also think that the fact that I have set myself a longer period this time allows my mind and body the time to take this journey at its own pace. I have been very much anticipating a strong detox crisis this past month and yet my body has been very merciful, and I have felt no symptoms of such a sort. I believe this is because I am developing a much closer contact with my mind and body, a complicity and understanding and we are healing together at a gentle pace, no tantrums, no drama just kindness and love. It is early days yet I remark that previously around thirty days feeling a strong desire to return to solids. It feels, this time round, uncannily like the inception of a much, much deeper journey. I am enjoying the experience more than anything, and am learning so much. I feel such gratitude to start to know my body better than I ever have and, each day to extend this knowledge to a higher level of understanding.

Poppy's Warming Beetroot and Ginger Broth

Perhaps not strictly part of the program, but absolutely delicious when Spring tricks you and Winter comes backatcha double fast blowing cold winds that rustle up your sleeves, chilling your toes. Slowly bring up to the boil some turnips, carrots, onions, garlic, celery, beetroot, mixed peppercorns, parsley, ginger and a bay leaf in a a few litres of pure water, simmer, then strain and boy, do you have the most warming combination of a winter broth. Almost reminds me of my mum's chicken soup, that I was given whenever I was ill as a kid. Delicious!


Today I had:

4l of Beetroot and Ginger Broth (its just felt sooo good)
200ml Blood Orange Juice w/ Psyllium
Swig of the old "ALLO Vera"
300ml Apple, Beetroot, Cinnamon and Ginger Juice (Warmed to the touch)
1l Tomato, Beetroot, Celery, Cucumber, Garlic and Parsley Juice/Soup (Warmed in a Bain Mairie)
1l Lettuce, Pineapple, and Lemon Juice
1l Fennel, Cucumber, Pear and Mint Juice
Enema - I am starting to get a few solid movements from these, hoping that this is just the start.
Skin Brush and HOT baths (x2)

Messages, 29

Reading back thoughts I wrote about three years ago. I think feasting is a lot about reconnecting the past with the now - through our memories we experience anew the present, gaining insight into the essential, understanding our achievements and reiterating the need to continue going forth burning our flame and understanding every moments we perform as an essential part of the dance of life. I am shocked to read how deeply melancholic, and negative my feelings about life were as a teenager. Its seems so unnatural that I used anger to reconcile my lack of comprehension for the movements of society. Funnily enough, I spoke about the same issues then that concern me today - drugs, pornography, media, etc but I used anger to block them out rather than compassion to deal with them. I think it is very easy to get into self-healing and forget about the larger picture, but to loosely quote Steiner, healing oneself start with healing the world. I think I am learning that all the wonderful gifts of understanding that I have gleaned with such gratitude these past two years must be used to help others. This is what I am becoming conscious of at the moment. I dream of one day living in a rural idyll with pure nature, but I think there is a much greater responsibility to fulfill first. Raw food and natural health has totally cured a lifetime's depression, yes a deep misunderstanding of life that long preceded puberty! I remember feeling suicidal as a six year old. That can't be right. But as soon as I started to connect with living foods, nature and life I felt whole again, in connection with life and brimming with joy, pretty instantaneously. I believe deeply in this path as a method of healing and repair. I have heard so many times that drugs and alcohol are so pervasive because people can't deal with the reality so they to tune out through this medium. It is time that people started reconnecting, with each other and with nature to rectify the damage that generations of perverse living patterns has invoked. With each generation, we are getting sicker and sicker, and school teachers will testify to the dissipating behavior of children. Such is the dilemma, as a raw foodist I have felt a deepening desire to 'get back to nature' and live in a raw community. I have experienced this at the Ecoforest, which was a truly sublime experience. But I believe that I ought to be connecting with and helping others here and now. I would love to train as a natural nutritionist and am looking at courses right now. I believe that there are many lessons that we need to get out there. I think it starts with food, as soon as you start nourishing and cleansing the body, you return to a lively state where you can follow your intuitions and connect with the world. Of course, it goes much deeper than food afterwards. But it follows simultaneously with the path of natural living/loving. It seems that simple to me. Thus the importance of staying put, and sharing love, vibrations and teachings as so many people are doing. This global juice feast sounds so rife with hope and possibilities, I am looking forward to tuning into this with so many wonderful people.
So back to juices, I am like a teething baby right now, chewing on everything before it goes in the juicer; celery, fennel, apples, romaine, you name it! I hope this fascination with food doesn't signify a winding down for me, because I am so hoping to go on with this, into the deep murky waters, so that when I emerge from this it will be such joy. Not to mention the pleasure of the taste buds, a simple fennel in my mouth feels like such a blessing. I like that. I tried a combination of spinach, parsley and carrot and it might have been a science of proportions but for some reason that particular combination tasted like bananas. Oh the pleasurable sensation of a banana smoothie, mmmm! Made 2 litres. Some excess silt of the unwashed spinach, that got past my nut milk bag some how made into my colon and presented me with a lovely cleanse.

Today I have so far had:
2l 'Banana Milk' Spinach, Carrot, Parsley
1l Cucumber and Pear
1l Romaine, Fennel, Cucumber, Apple
3tbsp Raw Local Honey (naughty)
1l Celery and Carrot
1l Water with Psyllium
Enema and Skin Brush

Time Travelling...

Its a funny sensation, moving forward. Sometimes it feels like I am leaping hurdles, and bouncing ahead and other days I question if I have actually moved forward at all since starting this feast. The general feeling is I feel a zillion times lighter, that oh so apt expression for a juice feaster, and positive in the fact that I am investing a unique moment of repair and rest in my body. My goal for this feast is to gain deeper spiritual insight and to break the seemingly ancient patterns of negative thought that has plagued doubt upon every decision, action or move that I make in life. I want to be free to trust my instincts and heart, and positive in knowing that I am flowing in synchronisity with the energy of life, in truth and confidence of my path. I know from previous juice fasts the incredible feeling of awareness that it raises and yet I am starting to be impatient with attaining this this time round. So far, the feast has been a relatively easy path. Now, a third of the way through, I am getting impatient for my body to start releasing some of the bad stuff. Emotions have been pretty stable and detox has only been as bad as a slight grogginess and headache equivalent to a normal day on a cooked vegan diet as I seem to remember it. And bowel movements - well barely anything! I mean I am sure there's some more stuff hiding in there, where are you my little darlings? And get this, I haven't lost any weight! But that stuff is not what's bothering me, what I am waiting for is some raw emotion! I am waiting for the bad shit to come out, and...release, only for me to break into great tidal waves of human compassion. Oh what bliss!
Perhaps my expectations are too high, I ought to be grateful that so far its been a slow merciful detox. Yet, I am waiting for a little bit of drama, suspense and whoooosh! I am learning that spiritual enquiry is a lifetime's work, and starting to see this feast as the equivalent of a depressive's Prozac. Not an ecstacy pill, but rather a step-up to point you in the right direction of happiness. Things are changing for me, gradually, I am finally seeking the right direction in life for me, after five years of wayward shuffling of following decisions that just didn't feel right from the start. And to be fair I am only a few weeks in. Its just sometimes one forgets how far one has come, and then you get an ordinary day, and you think well have I really come far at all. What I need is a reminder of how I felt four weeks ago, to make me realise how great this is, but unfortunately one doesn't have the body gaging map to hand, just my blog. So this is my first little winge, but I don't to keep it up, stiff upper lip and all that Britishness, innit.


Today I had:
2l of Spinach, Parsley and Carrot Juice
1l Pineapple Juice
1l Cucumber, Fennel and Pear Juice
Skin Brushing
1l Water, Lemon and Psyllium

Oh my Days 27

I have to get this post in super quick as internet connection has been cut am doing the and am doing the Wifi thing in Paris with diminutive power charge in my laptop. Feeling super-good right now, everything in my life is flowing. I feel as if I have a child's enthusiasm for life, so many dreams, aspirations but fortunate enough that the world is my oyster cos I don't have to go to school the next day. I remember how stifling the notion of going to school for what seemed like an eternity as a child. Well, school's out now and I can see now why so many raw kids are home-schooled. Its as if when you open your mind, why would you want to cramp your kids' imaginations with restrictive ideas.

The sun is shining, its almost Spring, almost...I plan to break this fast in April, if the whole ninety-two days feels right, and by then I feel like I could run to some warm tropical climes and treat my body to freshly picked fruit and sunbathing in delicious rays. Oh life is sunny bliss right now. Now where am I going to find the money do all these lovely things that flitter through my mind?

Yesterday I had

1l Pineapple Lemon Juice
2l Celery, Broccoli, Cucumber, Romaine and Raddichio Juice
2l Romaine and Carrot Juice
1l Water with Psylliun
Enema and Skinbrush

Today I had

1l Pineapple and Lemon Juice
1.5l Parsley, Romaine, Celery Juice
800ml Carrot and Romaine Juice
250ml Grapefruit Juice
500ml Pear, Strawberry and Cucumber Juice

NB- Green juices are not appealing to my taste buds right now, they seemed to have lost their magic. All I want is sweeeetness.

Pulse Dropping

I have a request to fellow juice feasters, out of curiosity. Has your pulse dropped during this feast? Mine is usually round 58-60 range and had dropped to 40! I have checked, double and triple checked this and I can't quite believe it but thats the case. If anyone has some information regarding this I would be very interested to know more.
Following Shell's link, I have been inspired to dip into one of favorite books, Fukuoka's 'One Straw Revolution' - the most enriching and philosophical book on natural farming and living. I find that this link between juice feasting/fasting/raw foods and natural farming methods is very closely linked, through the respect for the way things are best kept simple. Learning to respect the amazing creation that is your body, with all her inherent wisdom expands your vision to the rest of the universe. We are too small to understand everything - knowledge and wisdom is hence so profound in nature that the best we can do is to observe, respect and give thanks for its presence. I also feel a greater connection to nature during this process, whether it be greater awareness of the seasonal shifts in time to a deeper experience of walking in the woods, parks or outdoors. I urge you to read Fukuoka if you have the chance.

http://soilandhealth.org/files/JfLlrucPuX/010140.fukuoka.one.straw.pdf

Today I had:

1l Pineapple and Lemon juice
1l Fennel, Celery, Cucumber, Parsley, Pear Juice
2 Huge shots of Wheatgrass
1l Carrot, Romaine, Mint Juice
1l Mint, Pear, Cucumber, Fennel Juice
1l Fresh Mint Tea with Lemon and Honey
Fantastic Enema and Skin Brush (Thankyou for your post on skin brushing Katrina!)

The Market, Day 25 Cont'd

Feeling detoxy today, headache, nightmare, bad skin, paleness, moodiness, but the good news is I am starting to see the light from the tress, so to speak. I can see up now, without revealing too much, where my life is going and clearly what I don't want to put up with any more - yes I am not making any compromises here! Things seems as clear as day, I feel completely connected with my desires, aspirations and knowing what is right for me. Enemas are moments of revelation and deep spiritual sensations, and its amazing how much water I can up into me right now, and breath also! I am experiencing great levels of consciousnesses, and feelings of guilt, doubt and negativity that formerly fastened against every decision I made are shedding from my thoughts. I am dealing with a whole backlog of emotional archives that manifest themselves in gorgeous memories of the past and in not so lovely nightmares about dying at night. Feeling great love for my family right now. Today I went to the market and recuperated huuuuge amounts of fresh, organic produce from the end of the market for nothing. Shameless indeed, but I have made such a saving, it feels like the cat that caught the mouse.

Today I had:

1l Lettuce, Parsley, Cucumber, Apple Juice
1l Celeriac, Apple, Celery and Cucumber Juice
100ml Blood Orange Juice
1l Pineapple and Lemon Juice
200ml Apple and Cinnamon Juice
800ml Carrot, Romaine, Apple Juice
1l Cucumber, Lettuce, Fennel and Pear Juice
1l Pure Water w/ Psyllium Husks
An incredible enema, skin brush and bath
Oodles of sleep and relaxation

Photo of Me, Day 24

Feeling a little detoxy, plagued with the spots all over my face that just won't go. Anyway, thought its about time I post photo of me even my vanity tries to get the better of me. So here's me...I think my eyes are a lot clearer/brighter, and my face is a bit less chubby, so thankfully I don't get confused for a fourteen year old so often. Oh, and there a little blob of green juice in the corner of my mouth - that is totally intentional!

I didn't get to finish my post yesterday as I fell into a coma at around 9pm waking at 6am and thinking I had only had an hour's sleep! Other feelings included rampant horniness, (well my boyfriend very rarely/never reads this!), and lucid daydreaming of friends, families, and many childhood memories of foods and intense smells. Nice but sometimes quite overpowering. Also feeling quite ravenous right now, never too far from my juicer.

Yesterday I had:

2 shots of wheatgrass
1l of Lettuce, Celery, Cucumber, Parsley and Apple Juice
200ml Apple, Kiwi, Lemon Zing
1l Pineapple, Cucumber, Celery Juice
1l Fennel, Pear and Parsley Juice
200ml Grapefruit Juice
1l Pure Water w/Pysllium and Lemon Juice
1l Nettle Tea (about the only wild greens I managed to find!!)
300ml Apple, Ginger and Cinnamon Juice (warmed very slightly)

Presents for Myself

I am so excited I am about the lovely pressie thay I just bought myself. Hitherto now, I have always seen all that expensive raw food apparatus as well, gimmicks, making do with my cheap but acceptable centrifugal juicer, and a coffee grinder - don't even ask me what to do with a dehydrator! For me its all about simple, natural, raw living. Today, I was shown just what a difference these 'gimmicks' make. I just bought one of those top of the range, um, 'single-auger' juicers. Wow, never have I experienced such an intense, taste sensation from a juice. Apple, kiwi and lemon zinginess imploding on my tongue like a chewy starburst and green juices murking surreptitiouly into my veins, and wheatgrass explosions! I am so excited that I still have another..just over two months of juice. There is nothing quite like it. Then there are all those yummy raw food creation I can make with them post-feast. God bless my juicer! And feeling deeply touched to have found a shop in Paris that sells top-juicers, wheatgrass trays, and specialise in all sorts of live sprouted grains. I mean this is ten-years ahead for Paris. To my surprise at Pousse-Pousse the personnel were genuinely enthused and curious about my juice feast, a refreshing contrast to the fears and frightful ignorance that is often evoked about feasting. I was happy to able to share me experiences openly them without having to bend/adapt the facts accordingly. I would recommend anyone to check it out if they are in Paris. I am off to pick some wild greens now. Later.

Spaced Out (22 Days)

Today could have been a horrendous day, had I let it. My juicer broke, midway through the first juice of the day leaving only 200ml of pure watercress juice to sustain me for the rest of the day. My boss told me unequivocally and rather aggressively that he is very near to getting rid of my behind -I am a terrible waitress so I do not blame him! I consoled myself in trecking to the other side of Paris, to buy some coconut water to keep me for today and tomorrow until I get my juicer sorted, but alas not ONE single coconut in the whole of China Town due to the festivities! Meanwhile durian was teasing my hungry tummy with her delectable smell, and I could have for a second regretted being on a juice feast. And right now, I feel so high on orange juice and honey, lemon water that I might float up, up, up and away! I am happy, in love and enjoying every minute of this floaty trip. I feel compassion, and pleasure in human connection, and am supping every second of experience that is thrown my way with gratitude and delight. So, if I lose this job, I shall float somewhere further down the river, more beautiful in my little boat. For now, as I calm myself on balancing warm water, lemon juice and ginger, I can take joy in going through all the happenings of my day, then letting go. I received Will Bowen's "A Complaint Free World" today in the post - thankyou Katrina for the tip. So, I shall now be on a non-complaining fast aswell. Its all reminds me that this feast is so much more than correcting eating patterns, it is the occasion for introspection and greater self-knowledge. Spiritual, emotional, physical needs are all interconnected thus when you start to deal with one hinge, the others invariably volunteer themselves for more pressing attention. I am loving being conscious of the whole workings of body and mind, it makes life more lucid when in control of one's apparatus. Carrie spoke of lucid dreams earlier, well has anyone been experiencing lucid daydreams/thoughts? I get memories of yonks back that come to me in clear day, that are so vivid that its as if I am reliving them in whole. I like these very much. I guess everything we experience; present, past and future are all interconnected in our consciousness- even if we think that they ought to belong in a chronological niche - so that all makes sense. Lots of love.

Today I had:
Waaaay too many squeezy oranges and grapefruits, lemons and honey.
A few spoonfuls of spirulina
200 ml of undiluted watercress juice

Preaching and the Light

I have got this nervous energy inside me, can't quite catch it - as if I might explode in a fit of giggles, or hysterics! I am constantly gratified to see other people on this journey surfing along with commensurate joy. Its affirms that I am skipping along the right path. I feel as if I have tapped into a secret key to joyful living. I want to proclaim to the world the curative benefits of juice feasting. And for all the mental blockages that have prevented me from taking the plunge for long enough it has, so far been an almost effortless ride. I feel clearer, I feel a deeper spiritual purpose and I feel love. This is so obviously how we are meant to feel, the innate enthusiasm we have as children is reignited and rightfully released. I would like to back up Suki in saying that David and Katrina Rainoshek should be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. If everyone felt this much love, well, can you imagine? I walk along the streets of Paris, and there's a few people to whom I would like to offer this special tool; as if to resolve the contentious pushing and shoving in the Paris metro, the sullen faces of the overworked,the sick, pervasive immoral conduct, the depressed and despairing pill poppers. Perhaps I idealise but I am convinced if other people felt this joy, clarity of mind they could invest some positive changes in their lives. Oh to preach this message someday to the French?

Today I had:

2l Celery, Cucumber, Watercress, Parley Ginger, Tomato Juice
1l Pear, Mint, Lettuce Juice
200ml Apple, Cinnamon Juice (thanks Carrie!)
1l Pure Water with Psyllium
200ml Blood Orange Juice
500ml Fresh Mint
Enema, Skin Brush

Waltzing In The Forest (20 days)

Today's walk did me much good. Feeling really good again. There's something mystical about the therapeutic nature of the forest - it makes me feel vibrant and alive. I think that its something to do with the rich fertility of the forest floor - the foundation of life. I would like to observe the forest through an extended period of time, I think it has so much to teach me as I feel a strong spiritual connection walking through it. Perhaps there's the substance of time whispering through the ancient trees that compounds its authority. Perhaps its the intoxicating smell of fertility that breathes through its dark fertile humus. Maybe the constant balance of life, death and constant renewal, brings alignment to my senses and being. I felt connected to the life and energy of the forest on my walk today. It was a continuous feast to my eyes that gave me a child's joy, unparalleled. I would like to train my mind to be able to recreate this joy and excitement every day of my life, to feel constant grace and thankfulness. Thats how I see this feast, an opening up of life's possibilities, which post-feast, will have provided me with the vision to conceive inspiration and joy as a constant factor in my life. Children are an inspiration to me, they never cease to invent hope and potentiality. So here is to regressing some 92x120 thought days. That would make me minus 8 and a bit!

Today I had

1l Endive, Carrot, Romaine, Chinese Cabbage Juice*
1l Pineapple, Lettuce, Brussel Sprout Juice*
500ml Grapefruit Juice with Spirulina
500ml Fresh Mint Tea
*A bit off with my juice choices today, they tasted..nutritious!
Thats it so far.

Hungover

I ought to be careful what I wish for! Detox has reared its ugly head, and there are lots of nasties pushing their way out of my body - in fact I can the pitter-patter of their minuscule paws drumming against my head. I feel cloudy, sick and can't quite bear the sight of juice. I think I am going to take it easy on juice today. I have the best hangover plan, six hours hike in the French countryside! Packed some lemon and ginger water and a few oranges (to juice) if I get hungry. Funnily enough I had a feeling this was coming, as if euphoria precedes the doom. Well, I hope to be a little more grounded after I have got through this. Still loving the journey. See you later, Poppy xx

Candy Highs

Still going strong! Feeling wonderful, sexy, tactile, energetic and 'oooh' am I in seventh heaven! So far, no big downs to speak of yet. I am still waiting for those Downers with bated breath because thats when I know that detox really kicks in, and I am excited about this prospect. But for now my body, mind and inner workings are flowing with grace and ease, and the world seems to be dancing with me. I wanted to get this down quickly lest this feeling should leave me soon, become diluted and be transmitted to you with diminutive energy. The green juices are working the visceral magic though my blood, the sun is shining, blue skies and crisp air. Has anyone else noticed that the weekend climate is always brighter than the weekend? My boyfriend was also aware of this when I mentioned this to him yesterday and has hitherto theorised that on weekends families come together, couple make love and reconnect, and people are relaxed, producing positive thoughts that reflect, determine or prevail in the manifestation of the weather conditions. I like this thought. It affirm what I am reading at the moment that thoughts form the world around us. What hope there is in such a concept, that we are all creators, and every minute we live is vitally significant in the framework of our universe. If we are conscious of this we can surpass moments of inconsideration, or selfishness because they upset the balance dislodging grey clouds that diffuse over the whole world. Gosh, I am sounding preachy today which is strange; I haven't actually been at all in my 'intellect' of late, so I am surprising myself here.
One thing I must say is my body is becoming less used to sugar - I thought I would treat myself to a pear and ginger juice this morning and it sent me rocketing sideways. I am finally enjoying pure unadulterated green juices and can finally affirm with my own conviction that this is where the magic is at for me. Its taken me long enough to LOVE them. So, to loosely quote Angela Stokes, I am moving away from the sweets and feeling like a grown up woman. And did I mention I feel sexy? Not outright horny a la Suki but just happy and sensual in my skin. Sending y'all positive energy, Poppy

Yesterday:
2l Kale, Celery, Lettuce, Parsley, Carrot Juice
500ml Pomelos Juice with 2tsp Spirulina
1l Celery, Lettuce, Courgette, Lemon Pear Juice
200ml Kiwi, Apple Juice
800ml Cucumber, Fennel, Celery Pear Juice
1l Pure Water with Psyllium and Lemon Juice
Skin Brush and Contrast Showers

Today (so far..)
1l Pear, Celery, Lemon Juice (Too much sugar!)
1l Celery, Parley, Spinach, Tomato Juice
...

PS. Just received this from Shazzie: "He who has health, has hope; and he who has hope, has everything". Loving the synchronosity.

Inspired Day 17

I am a bit lost for words today. Just happy, floating on this journey. Reading other juice blogs and am truly in awe of some of the insight that is being put out there, what incredible mind, hearts and souls coming forward. Is it a coincidence to find so many unique beings embarking on a similar journey? Their words are reflections of my thoughts, as for now I am feeling speechless but connected. I feel as if I have tapped into something secret and sublime, and to be sharing this with open hearted, generous individuals, well again, I am speechless. Today was fluid, am flowing in sync with the world, which feels so effortless. I love days like today. I feel bursting with excitement, I want to go deeper and deeper into this journey, I am looking forward to 'dancing' through all the phases of healing, and embracing new sensations, detachment and new-found perceptions. For the first time, my enemas are starting to dislodge some old matter and I feel like I am tapping into some deeper layers now. It feels good. Thankful, Poppy

Today I had:
2l Fennel, Cucumber Pear, Parsley Juice
500ml Blood Orange Juice and Spirulina
1l Carrot, Broccoli, Kale Juice
1l Pure Water with Lemon and 2tsp Psyllium Husks
Two Oranges, chewed without swallowing the fibre