Giving Tuppence

Early morning discussions with the twin about care, love consideration. Used to be work as a pastry chef, I love perfection and care put into the small details of things. I think that little love that goes into the preparation of a 'tartelette aux fraises' makes all the difference. I notice less of the love going into the food I buy, the clothes I buy and the restaurants I go to.

Sometimes when I waitress, and I see the chef screaming at his sous-chef and I ask myself how on earth can you serve that food to another person, the food that you have prepared and poisoned with anger. And sometimes I just look at the food on the plate, and I ask myself how can you serve such uncared for, sloppy food and charge so much - I see it everywhere and feel a sadness at the loss of care and integrity in industry. I hesitate to 'blame' commerce, because I can not believe that such negates honesty, love and integrity. In fact, I believe that when I go to a restaurant, I am paying for that somebody to prepare with equal care the dish as they would for their loved ones or family - and yet I can say that the past six years that I have worked in restaurants I have seen only one place prepare food with such care and love for what goes out on the plate in the wonderful Rose Bakery. I know that when I go to the farmer's market, Perry Court Farm give me the same amazing pears, carrots, beets and spinach that feed their own children and I feel gratified for the care with which they pick the best ones out for me. It transforms my whole relationship to the food, and makes me happy to part with my money for that. My salary is afterall, a product of my time, of my efforts and of my giving to others with equal care of their needs and desires as humans and as paying customers, that as such I can't stand to provide any less than the best. I quit working for Wholefoods after one week, understanding that money ruled over integrity for them - their daily food wastage could have filled a hundred homeless bellies alone, I just can't represent that - it feels so wrong!

Traditionally clothing and cooking were acts of community sharing and love. The effort that was placed into preparing a meal, weaving a dress that was made to last, or a scarf for a loved one was prepared in the context of caring, creative giving. If each act was fulfilled with full awareness of its journey - from my heart to yours, I think we would feel a lot closer as humans. Many talk about our loss of connection with nature, provoking a looser connection to the fundamental axis of our existence. Perhaps it comes more down to time; running around like headless chicken we lose sense of the value of this very moment here and now, always projecting our minds to the future, turning our actions into drawn out lists of things to do, just so the end can justify the means, we can pay the bills. Passion is key, living every minute and living each other with love.

My brother blames Tescos this morning, another blames McDonalds and another blames the 'system' conspiring against us. It seems so futile to talk of systems, of organisations. We're all human, and I am in to dealing on human levels now, building communities and putting my energy into making grow the things I love. More to come soon...Love!!!