Well, I have been letting the blogging go a little of late! Naughty me. I shall explain why. I have had such a roller-coaster of the past two days post-feast that I wasn't quite ready to share my experiences until I had properly evaluated and understood them. Now, I feel that I can safely say that these past two days have thrown up collectively more crap than some of the most intense days I had fasting. It feels like soaked prunes and the re-introduction of food to the mind have created a whole minefield of stored emotions that have emerged to the psyche with a renewed force. On top of that juicing was like a panacea to negativity, and suddenly I am like a child alone on her two feet fending for herself without support. The strength I have lies deeper within and I need to search deeper for it.
Food was, for the first two days and to my great suprise somewhat less appealing than the sublime lanscape that I had mapped out in my mind for fifty days. My taste-buds are amazing and yet I feel that I have no strong desire for any of the things I am eating. I crave salad; clover, romaine, baby spinach, mizuna, rocket, drizzled with olive oil and lemon juice, olives, tahini, seaweed, avocado and all the sophisticated dleights that await me in a few days. I know I soundlike an ingrat, but regarding the juicy fruits and soaked prunes, I could happily pass these over. Juice has had more appeal yet I am surprised not to pounce on the solids and to feel a little deprived of the big salad that I desire!! Today I introduced wonderful cucumbers, grated and juicy with tomatoes into my diet, drizzled with lemon juice, paprika and garlic. This may be a little premature but I was craving a salad of sorts - and it was truly worth it. I have re-connected with the hungry feeding giant inside of me and felt truly gratified. I think I needed that little treat post-feast to celebrate. And I was so full so quickly.
Yesterday I spend most of the evening on the toilet, and gave myself a colonic because there was so much more to come. The prunes seemed to have pushed out some ancient artefacts lodged inside of me and the release was incredible. I think the next few days will be coming to terms with all of this and readjusting. I am continuing to juice and buy bulk produce from the market and I feel very dehydrated without 1l liquid/day. I am even contemplating whether or not we really need food as human beings, it seems so complicated. Juice feels right, empowering, and light while food feels a little more social. I think that the former will remain a siginificant part of my life from now on.
Today I was given an open occasion to reflect on many year gone by. I had to sort out clean all the stored boxes from our former family home. Going through all the souvenirs of my childhood I was surpised to feel regret at the time squandered with sadness, and misplaced hope. I wouldn't be where I am now if I had not gone through what I had but I really wish that other kids don't have to fight with the depression and hopelessness of living that I felt as a kid. I threw away all my artwork from college because it seemed all so utterly misplaced in its futility and self-inflicted suffering and at odds with what I beleive in -there is meaning in everything, God and love all around, I hope to teach kids the joy in seeking joy and the love in seeking love as I develop ways in my own right to continue living each day as a blessing.
Yesterday I had
Soaked Prunes and Soak Water
350ml Amazing Kale Blood Orange and Kohlrabi Smoothie (from Inspiral Lounge, Camden High Street)
500ml Spinach, Apple and Berry Green Smoothie
1.5l Spring Greens, Apple, Carrot, Celery and Ginger Water
1.5l Pure Water
1l Lemon, Ginger, MSM Water
Supplements: B12, Probiotics, Psyllium Husks, Cascara Sagrada
Enema (most intense ever)
Today I had
1l Lemon Water with MSM
1l Blood Orange, Celery and Basil Juice
1l Green Juice with Spinach, Basil, Orange and Kiwi
A Handful of Grapes
Half a Grated Cucumber(deseeded), Some Cherry Tomatoes (deseeded), Lemon Juice, Paprika and Finely Grated Garlic
Supplements: B12 and Probiotics
4 comments:
Poppy,
I love this posting.
It just really touched me.
I know what you mean about the fruits. I too, wanted to skip right over them. But cukes/tomatoes are juicy fruits, so you're right on track! It is truly a delight to indulge in the salads again, and we just tried out hemp seed nut butter. Delish! Trying to find little substitutes for olive oil, which was a big staple for us before.
Lots of love your way...
Carrie
Thank you for your beautiful words. I wish you a wonderful transition into the world of eating. It seems like you are really reflecting on things and that is wonderful.
lovely to hear from you, dear poppy. A big hug for you xxx
I know what you mean about being thrown into more of a milieu than during the feast, post-feast. I feel I have been running since breaking feast, filling my time with all of the things I didn't have time for our couldn't accomplish while feasting. It has been tremendously exhausting/exhilarating/expansive. Perhaps it began with an "oh shit! Now what?"
You create your universe. Now that you've gone through the business of cleansing/healing it is time to get down to business. What's next on all of our horizons? We have been deeply engaged in this question. I'm working overtime--literally not sleeping, creating my reality. There are many new things on the horizon which I hope to share soon, but first I have some more pressing things to attend to. A job interview on Monday to prepare for, for example....
I heart tomatoes and cukes. Try them with torn pieces of dulse on top with a sprinkle of kelp. Relish!
x to you,
b
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